


My Fictober 2018

by KieraRutherford



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Fictober 2018, will add tags as they are finished
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 15:59:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 24,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16162163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KieraRutherford/pseuds/KieraRutherford
Summary: I took on a challenge to write all 31 days of October. If you look me up on Tumblr the prompt is on my page. There will be fluff, angst, platonic relationships, friends, love and smut. A bit of everything. Each piece will be tagged in a note BEFORE the chapter. Roughly between 1000 - 2500 words each. Enjoy :)





	1. Can you feel this?

Snow drifted down in gentle flakes as the light about the encampment flickered, people rushing back and forth in a flurry of motions. Each trying in some desperate way to get something done. Cullen could feel it in the air, a sense of crazed need. If you sat for too long you felt a burden and it was easy for dark thoughts to creep within the mind when inactivity arose in these situations. He himself was beginning to feel it. Since their hurried departure from Haven his mind was on one person and one person only; the Herald. She’d told him to take the people as far from there as he could, told him she was sorry before rushing out the door and jamming the hinges behind her. 

Now, he was trying in vain to keep his head above water. There was too much to do, and little organization. “Yes, you there, get more blankets for the wounded. Heat them near fires best you can and be careful! Setting them ablaze will do us no good.” He barked at a poor elven girl, snapping her out of the tears she’d begun to cry. Some time later she would come to thank him but now he wasn’t interested in an accolade. He needed to keep people alive, settle them in for a harsh night and then begin the hunt. 

Pacing down the row of men working at setting up tents he drew in a deep lung full of icy winter air. He was set to find Cassandra. Between the two of them she was helping coordinate the soldiers and allies. Seeing her speaking with a man in a robe he marched over. “Seeker, I wish to…”

“Find the Herald. I am in agreeance. We’ve secured ourselves enough that Sister Leliana can mount a proper base camp in our stead. Grab your sword. We do not know what we yet face.” Waving her hand forward, Cassandra let Cullen take the lead. 

Trudging through the loose powder towards the peak of the mountain tip they were on, he was simply looking for high ground. It would be the easiest way to view the valley and see if he could spot anything. It’d been hours since the assault and they had precious little intel. Only that the large dragon seemed to soar away moments before the avalanche buried Haven. Buried her. Swallowing hard he willed himself to move forward, pushing as hard as his legs would let him. 

Reaching the top of the peak he scanned the area as best he could, searching for some sign of life. Of something that didn’t resemble the area. Maybe the glint of armor in the moonlight. Grumbling he turned to Cassandra, “I see nothing.”

“A moment, Commander. We know nothing of the area we are in. Perhaps we should look out upon the other side of our encampment. We will find her.” Clapping his shoulder Cassandra nodded, “Andraste chose her. I do not believe the Maker chose her to fall now. Come, we must have a bit more faith.” 

“Easy for you, Seeker.” He bit it out under his breath as he pushed onwards. About them the snowstorm that had begun when they scurried forward ceased. Instead a soft breeze carried the bitter coldness about them. With his breath heavy in the air he reached the top of the next hill. “There!” He half yelled it, his finger thrust out into the night. “I’m sure I see her!” 

Before Cassandra could deny him or confirm it, he was off. Running as fast as he could in the nearly knee-deep powder. He was risking a great deal. Sweat was beginning to build up upon his back and underarms and he knew if he got too wet he was in peril of freezing to death. “They better have the fires high.” He growled back as he continued his push. There a couple hundred feet before him, moved a sluggish figure. It bobbed left and right, clearly weighted down in the mountain snow, heavy puffs of steam coming as they breathed hard. “It has to be her… HERALD!” He yelled out, waiting for a moment, holding his breath for an answer. Instead the figure paused and weaved before dropping to its knees. “Shit…” He knew with everything inside of him it was her. It had to be her. With a speed he didn’t think was possible he motored forward, plowing his way through the embankment. 

“Cull…. Cullen…” her voice was weak, and her lips were cracked. About her face were scratches, and blood clung to her hair and clothes. “Maker…” he swallowed again, trying to compose himself as he knelt in the snow to help lift her up. “I have you, stay with me. Can you feel this?” He took her hand in his, terrified at how cold they were. “Mhmm,” she mumbled back, and he finally felt like he could breath. 

Heaving her up he turned to see Cassandra and a small group of soldiers shoving the snow before them, creating a path for him to rush her back to their camp. “Go!” Cassandra yelled to one man, “get the healers ready, prepare a bed, blankets, water. Whatever they need, warn them!” 

Clutching her to his chest, mindful not to crush her against his armor he stormed back towards the camp. His lungs on fire and legs wobbling as he continued straight to the area set up by Mother Gisele. He stayed by her side up till the moment Cassandra physically dragged him back. “The Herald is in good hands. We must let the Maker decide now.” 

“I can’t…” his voice cracked out, barely more than a whisper as he cast his gaze back at the main fire. He was still wet and needed to dry, the cold air began to slip through the cracks of his armor and he was dangerously close to freezing himself. “Come, sit by the fire. I’ll get you something to eat. We need your strength now Commander. She’ll need it in the days to come.” Cassandra waited a moment, giving Cullen the room, he needed to come to it on his own. “Alright.” He nodded and slowly he followed her toward the fire. 

Looking back over his shoulder a couple times he sat on the fallen log spread next to the fire. With his head down, he clasped his hands together and began to pray.


	2. People Like You Have No Imagination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit dark on this one with the mention of making Erimond a Tranquil, so I'm giving a heads up for that. The rest is soft and comforting. Human one would say. Enjoy Diana Trevelyan (my OC) and Cullen Rutherford.

Screams mixed with loud cursing in Tevene filtered through the holding cell of Skyhold and Diana grimaced. After sentencing Lord Livius Erimond to Tranquility she had decided to join the small team of templars in the bowels of the Keep, set to see it through; personally. 

“Inquisitor was this…” a female Inquisition scout grimaced as they watched the templars who were casting a magic cancelling aura out to keep Livius placid, despite his screams and protests. “I believe it is. I know I will take some anger from this and I am ready to deal with it. Once this is done, I am going to speak with the Commander. Please inform Josephine of anything important, she will know how best to reach me.” Diana clasped her hands tightly behind her back and watched, eyes riveted to Livius as he spat and tried to kick. Another taller templar in full plate socked him in the solar plexuses with the hilt of his blade, “quiet.” He growled. 

“You can’t do this! You…” Livius spat out, facing Diana, his eyes wild and his face contorted in rage. “I can do whatever I want. You broke the laws that govern your kind in Southern Thedas. You are no longer in Tevinter and you have been judged. Knight-Captain the brand.” Diana waved her hand as the small group of templars worked at heating it in the lyrium mixture. “Your crimes are against the citizens of Thedas, in your efforts to destroy the Grey Wardens, bring down upon us another blight and swearing everlasting fealty to Corypheus; you have sealed your fate.” Pausing she caught the eyes of the Knight-Captain who seemed to be awaiting an unspoken order. Nodding her head to the two men in plate she stood firm as they roughly gripped Livius’s head and held him tight. “May the Maker decide what comes next, Livius.” With those word a templar thrust the brand against Livius’s forehead. He screamed out for a brief moment, and Diana caught the smell of burnt flesh before his eyes glowed softly then he stopped. Everything seemed to stop in the dimly lit room. 

“It is done.” The Knight-Captain nodded as they righted Livius. “What did you wish us to do with him?”

“Have him aid wherever and however you need. Keep an eye on him. If he makes any effort to betray us, end him.” Diana nodded sharply before spinning on her heel and storming out of the darkened hold and back out into the cold mountain daylight. She needed air, the fresher the better. Drawing in a deep lung full she tried to steady herself, tried to make the slight wobble of her knees go away. Forget the churning of her guts.

“It bothers you and it bothers many. There is anger all about.” Cole’s voice seemed to filter through her. “You wish to know if what you did was right, but you know it was.” His hand graced her shoulder. “He would have hurt too many as he was. He can help now.” 

“Cole…. I…”

“Go to the Commander. He waits for you. Knows you have need of him too. He can help.” With those brief words Cole was gone, as he always was when he was finished. Shivering she clasped her arms over her chest and paced quickly up the steps towards his tower. 

“Inquis… Diana.” Cullen’s voice softened for a moment as he opened his arms to her, rising from his chair behind his desk. Instantly Diana curled into him. “You made a tough call back there. You didn’t need to…”

“I had to.” Diana’s usual strong voice was barely a whisper as she clung to him. “I will be forced to deal with those upset by this. I am not mage and I have invoked a mage’s punishment, all while calming to be Andraste’s chosen. Maker…. Did I…”

“You did as best you could. I stand by your choice.” Cullen kissed the top of her head. “He wanted death, and I’m certain had we imprisoned him, he would only try to escape or twist the minds of those forced to watch over him. This was a permanent solution to the immediate and possibly long-term problem.”

“How very templar of you,” Diana let out a weak chuckle as she slowly pulled back. “Be honest with me, what would you have done? Were you in my position.” 

“I would have more than likely ran him through before everyone.” Cullen stated flatly. Diana let out a short string of giggles, “people like you have no imagination.” She cringed at her own joke, “I’m sorry, I…”

“It’s fine.” Cullen brushed some of her hair back from her face and gently held her cheek. “We shall deal with anything that arises.” 

“Thank you,” she sighed heavily before straightening up, making a forced effort to return the mantle of Inquisitor back upon her shoulders. “Am I interrupting your efforts?”

“Never.” He grinned widely, “I have some time if you want it.” Holding his hand out he waited for her to take it. Leading her to his desk he sat and tenderly pulled her into his lap. “Let’s just be still for a moment, before the world asks of us again.” Curling his arms around her best he could they both let out a long held breath, letting the silence of the tower wrap them in a comfortable numbness.


	3. How Can I Trust You?

Cullen stood by the wooden table, people coming and going in a rush of movement about him. He in turn equally managed to merit out jobs and tasks in rapid fire. This had been going on for hours, days since their frantic arrival from the ashes of Haven. Solus and the Herald were correct, Skyhold was impressive, that much he too agreed with, but it required a massive amount of work to restore it. 

He’d done a quick tour through the sprawling keep and felt a good location for him at the immediate was to set up a command post by the steps to the main landing, near the medical area. He would be able to lend aid if it was needed and could coordinate all who came and went. There were animals to drive out, cobwebs to purge and burn, broken bits of debris is various parts of the structure. The wood scraps would serve to light the fires and feed the people at least. He had a group of the strongest men clearing out the rumble and bringing the wood to the medical area. They would set up fires for comfort, potions and food.

“You there, we need to secure more provisions. Hunt through every corner and bring what you can find.” He yelled at a scout standing about nervously. They jumped at his voice and bolted off instantly.

“I can help. I want to help.” Cole’s voice seemed to ring through his skull making him dizzy. “I… How can I trust you? While you aided in our escape, I know not what you are.” He eyed the boy up and down, his templar instincts at odds with his memories. Cole had helped Roderick remember the pass through the hills, away from Haven and into safety’s arms. Without Roderick and in extension Cole they’d all be dead. Yet Cole was not a boy, not even close. While he assumed the image of a young man, he was more than that. The veil seemed to surround the boy and while Cullen was no master of magic he had been surrounded by mages and their spells long enough to feel it in his bones. “I want to help. She said I can help. You don’t trust me because he did horrible things. Twisted friends and made them bleed.” Cole’s pale eyes locked on his and he felt the old fears begin to bubble up. “I can help. I can make the hurt stop. Uldred hurt you, tried to twist you but he didn’t change your shape. You are you. A good man.” 

“Please stop.” Cullen swallowed hard, lowering his head to try to read anything upon the table. He needed to stop the swirling fear and anxiety from dragging him back there. He couldn’t go back there. “I…” Looking up, Cole was gone. Blinking a few times, he was certain the young boy was standing just a few feet from him a moment ago. “Commander!” Scout Jim came rushing forward a list in his hand, “Sister Leliana needs a word with you. Seeker Cassandra and Ambassador Josephine as well.” 

“Thank you, I shall see to this. Have Rylen handle the repairs and clearing out of the wild life. I want quarters for the men and wounded tended to by nightfall.” Taking the missive he skimmed it over quickly and passed it back. Nodding he set off toward the location of their meeting. With each step he couldn’t shake the feeling left by the strange lad. There was an itching at the base of skull, something begging to be acknowledged but he was in no mood to think upon it. 

Lyrium. He’d been surrounded by it for the last three days as it was passed around and taken by mages and templars alike. His finger tips were numb, frozen at other times, and his bones ached. Yet through all the pain and nightmares he pushed on. Those nightmares that clung to the edges of his waking hours, those nightmares Cole had stirred now. But they needed him and until they decided what to do going ahead, they needed a Commander. One who wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty and knew how to get results. Clenching his jaw through a wave of nausea he stood firm before the women. “Commander, I wish to bring forth a candidate for Inquisitor.” Cassandra said her hands clasped behind her back. “I believe the Herald would make a perfect leader. She have already been leading us to this point and I think it would be best to make it official. Leliana and Josephine have agreed. We need your opinion.” 

“I believe it would be a wise call. We can best advise…”

“I will be stepping down as advisor.” Cassandra cut him off. “Three voices are more than enough, and I am best suited to battle. The sooner we can pass the mantle to her, the sooner we can make preparation to strike back against our foe.” 

“Agreed.” Cullen nodded. In his mind he knew he’d have to tell her about the lyrium. “I… I will have to…”

“In your own time Commander. About Cole…” She looked over her shoulder as if his name would summon him to them. “I think it best to leave that up to her as well. She seems to have a relationship with the boy. He defies all my knowledge of demons and spirits. Solas believes he is unique but Vivienne…”

“Cannot agree.” Leliana clipped in, “what do you think, Commander? With your experience.”

“I am unsure. To be fair he aided us when we were in need and has asked nothing in return. He wishes to continue to lend aid. I am unease about him and do not yet trust him, but he has proven invaluable up to this point.” Cullen huffed the words out, clearly at odds with the entire thing, but this was a problem for her to solve. He had to have faith like the others, that she would make a good and sound choice. 

“Then it is decided.” Leliana waved across the way as the Herald poked her head from a doorway. “Let’s be done with this so we can make our preparations.”


	4. Will That Be All?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little more angst today, some teasing from my OC Diana Trevelyan. Haven stuff, nothing to trigger warning, just some words. Enjoy!

Cullen slammed the door of the Chantry building open wide, the raw stinging of his fist a welcome distraction to the loud argument he had endured two moments before. Storming like a man possessed he headed straight to the training grounds. All of Haven had to have heard him bellowing as Leliana and he squabbled before the Herald, Diana Trevelyan, over allegiances. 

While Leliana had made it clear the threat of the Tevinter mage at Redcliff was important he was still dead set on seeking some grand penance and restoration of the Order. His boyish memories betrayed his battle worn knowledge. He craved for what he believed in to be real. Not some fantasy, some dark poison that was dripped into his ear. Yet he knew better. The Order had failed him, failed many and he had no desire to continue with that life. 

“Why do I bother,” he grumbled low under his breath. Redemption seemed such a childish thought when he looked back upon it. But there were things that could not be denied. Templars could, in theory, suppress the Breach enough that the Anchor could seal it. There was just as great a risk if the mages funneled their power into the Anchor. It might all just blow up and rain demons down faster upon them. Or worse, kill Diana.

Trying to break the foul mood he went straight to working the young recruits. There was much training to do no matter which why Lady Trevelyan went. “You there, that’s a shield in your hand block with it!” He roared, his arms crossed tightly against his chest. 

Messengers must have sensed his internal rage and steered clear of him for the most part, but Diana wasn’t interested in placating him. “Commander, a word?” She walked with a firm step, her back straight and her shoulders set. The perfect image of a Baron’s daughter. “What is it?” Cullen groaned pinching the bridge of his nose. He’d gotten into just as heated an argument with her as well and he was in no mood to continue the game. “Commander I wished your point clarified, and another question answered.” She stopped within arms reach of him, standing a half head shorter than he was. “And what do you wish clarified? I stated quite clearly exactly what my opinion was, and my understanding based on my extensive experience…”

“Oh, I’m aware of your templar training,” Diana huffed waving her hand for him to stop. “I want the why. Clearly you have a larger horse in this race. So much so you seem to be incapable of seeing the Tevinter threat on our back door. If he isn’t as honorable as he portrays he is in control of an army of mages. One he could weaponize in an assault upon…”

“And I am aware of that as well.” Cullen growled. “Is King Alistair to have us fight his battles? I’m certain if he was made aware of the issue he would…”

“Would be in as equally deep trouble as we are. We are aware of the situation, to walk away now would leave a foul taste in any Fereldan’s mouth. Furthermore, it may poison the minds of those we need to sway.” Sighing heavily, she shook her head, “we argue in circles and I still haven’t gotten my answer. Commander, what is your horse in this race?”

Cullen chewed the words over for only a moment before he spat them back at her, “and what is yours? I am speaking from a strategical standpoint. There is no easy way to get you in there and were something foul to befall you…”

“So, you do care. And here I thought I was nothing but the spoiled wealthy brat of the Baron.” Tossing his words back at him she knew he would react. She wanted him to. But he would not so easily rise to her bate. “Lady Trevelyan will that be all?” 

They locked eyes, neither one budging an inch before Diana let out a chorus of laughter. “You are adorable when you are angry. Such fiery resolve, damn near erotic Commander.” Diana grinned wide and winked, “that will be more then all, for now. Don’t work yourself too hard, or the men. I need you at your best. Till later.” With a flourished bow she spun on her heel and paced off back towards the Chantry building. Leaving Cullen torn between confusion and irritation. 

Growling under his breath he uttered a few curses before drawing in a calming breath. Around him the recruits had stopped fighting, too interested in the verbal jousting match between the Herald and their Commander. “Back to work!” He bellowed before snarling and rushing to his tent. He needed a moment to calm his head, before he took off someone else’s.


	5. Take What You Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW VERY VERY NSFW!!! Trigger Warnings are: rough sex, choking, air restriction, spanking, gagging, and explicit terms. Other than that... enjoy?

Diana’s back hit the wall hard, far harder than she was prepared for as the rush of air left her lungs. But his tongue against her lips was even faster, stealing the air that rushed forth. Teeth tugged at her bottom lip and she moaned wantonly against them. No words were spoken, they didn’t need to. Cullen knew what she wanted, how she wanted it and he was more than content to please her. With her arms pinned above her head in his hand she closed her eyes. His boot kicked at hers, spreading her legs and she gasped again, only just barely regaining her air. Roughly her hips thrust back and forth, side to side and he ripped at her ties. When it was loose enough he torn his glove off and shoved his hand into her smalls. “Take what you need,” she purred, locking eyes with him. Those usual copper pools where dark rimmed caramel as he slid his fingers over her pearl, toying and teasing.

“I need you,” he growled before his teeth sunk into the delicate junction of her neck. As she keened out he slipped two fingers inside of her and began pumping them. Pumping quick enough and hard enough to bounce her against the stone wall of his office. “Scream for me,” he growled against the hollow of her neck, his teeth leaving marks that would have to be concealed later.

It didn’t take long, he’d done this enough times that he knew exactly where to hit it and when to stop. Within a few seconds she was a quivering mess. Retracting his hand, he slipped an arm under her rear to lift her. Turning he had already cleared down his desk. Laying her down he paused one moment, just long enough for her to catch her breathe. Then he was wrenching her pants and smalls away, cast to the corner somewhere he cared not. His own pants sat in an uncomfortable fold about the tops of his boots. With his cock free and rock hard, he spread her legs wide and hauled her back down the desk. She squealed in delight. With a wicked grin she just caught he asked her again, “what do you want?”

“Take what you need from me. Leave me spent and wrecked,” her eyes where so dark there was barely a trace of forest green edging her blown pupils. “Open your mouth.” He swallowed hard, barely able to utter the words as she hung her head over the other side of the desk. Walking about to where she was and with little ceremony he grabbed her hair and rimmed his cock over her lips. There was a carnal nature to the kind of sex she wanted when she returned from her journeys. No one would call what he was doing love, but this was her love. Her need to be ravished, fucked raw and bare before he could even think about anything tender and time consuming. It had taken Cullen a long time to wrap his head around it but once he understood why she wanted it, how high it made her, how hard she cummed for him, he had to have it. Needed it when she returned. Commanded she come to his tower, lock the doors and submit to him.

As his cock slipped into her mouth he felt her hum, it made him twitch and he had to remember himself. She wanted him to fuck her, fill her and leave her quaking and he wasn’t going to be able to do that if he spilled down that golden throat. This was a tease, slicking himself with her mouth and her tongue as she slid it up his shaft before he pulled away. “More,” she whined as he pulled free of her lips. “You’re too gentle.”

“Gentle?” He growled. Wrenching her head, he thrust himself into her mouth, two fists full of hair as he rammed himself into the tight clench of her throat’s opening. She gagged and pawed at his thighs. For a moment he didn’t move, denying her air before pulling back. “Gentle enough?” He smirked seeing her reach between her legs. That was his queue, she was more than ready for him. “On your stomach,” he stood back, cupping his balls as he watched her flip over, “ass in the air.”

With her rear facing him he ran his hand up her thigh before leveling a thunderous smack to her ass. As she cried he gripped her hips and tugged her into him, impaling her to the hilt. Grabbing her hair into a fist full he bent her back, slipping his other hand over her back her cupped her breast. Giving himself a moment to settle, she had orgasmed on the entrance and he was dangerously close.

“Cullen…” she moaned, his fingers torturing her nipple, rolling and pinching, twisting and pulling before he switched to the other. There was little doubt she’d be sore tomorrow. Sensitive too, which he would use to ‘accidently’ rub his arm against. Grinning he kissed her shoulder, “yes, Diana?”

“Fuck me, please. Make it hurt.” There were tears gracing the edges of her eyes as she kept her hands planted on the desk. Releasing her hair, he grasped her about the neck, “I want you in my quarters in an hour from now, you’ve been very naughty, and your punishment has only just begun.” His timber rumbled over the shell of her ear before he began to fuck her. Hard enough the desk jumped, and he was certain she would be bruised. “Fuck, yes, fuck,” she cried out, another wave hitting her and that was when he went for it. Letting her neck go he pushed her down flat against the cold desk. Two hands free he gripped her hips hard and fucked her. Pausing only a brief moment to lay a loud smack to each ass cheek till it was red and raw. Her cries became horse and when she hit her final peak it was exactly with him. As his hot seed erupted into her belly she shrieked out, loud enough for half the mountain side to hear, he was certain. Feeling his legs begin to wobble he pulled himself from her, cum dripping out of her until the floor. “I missed you,” he gasped coming around the side to collect a towel and help her up.

“I…” She shuddered again and couldn’t move. “Fuck. Yes.” Turning over she was a mess; makeup smeared over her face, hair torn from its perfect style, bruises and marks running up and down her body. “Maker, I’m so…”

“If you say sorry, I’m going to punch you in the dick.” Diana groaned as she righted herself. “Don’t ever apologize for good sex. You can make love to me later. This… this will make it better later.” She tried to steady herself only to half fall on top of Cullen. “You like the later.”

“I love you,” he sighed helping to brush some of her hair back. “I have a change of clothes for you upstairs, fresh towels and water. Come,” easing her up he knew she was wobbly. Picking her up he carried her up the ladder and helped tend to her. “Cullen?” Diana’s voice was sheepish as she awaited his answer. “Yes?” He stopped in his tracks, eyes glued to her. “I love you.”

“And I you.” He smiled, crossing the gap between them he placed a tender kiss to her swollen lips. “Let me take care of you.”


	6. I Heard Enough, This Ends Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Combat, with a Chevalier. SFW Enjoy! 888 Words

“Commander Cullen!” A raspy voice bellowed before the scant looking man burst through the door to his tower. “Commander Cullen, there’s a fight breaking out in the training ring. We….”

“Lead me.” Cullen had already rose from his chair and was halfway across the room. There was little time to waste. He was more than aware how quickly something like this could escalate into full blood. Rushing down the steps behind the messenger he caught the familiar plumage of a Chevalier. He had been sent ahead of some Comte to ensure the safety and security of Skyhold. Something Cullen had instantly taken offense to. Now he was degrading and berating a group of recruits. As he drew closer he caught the tail end of his speech and Cullen’s blood boiled. Standing half a head taller than the man he snarled before clearing his throat loudly. Half the training group blanched, several instantly moved back, “is there a problem?” Cullen tried to calm himself, but the rage was already beginning to boil over. “I was simply inspecting your latest batch of…” the Chevalier waved his hand and huffed, “miscreants.” 

That was the last straw for Cullen, “I heard enough, this ends now.” Growling he waved his men back, “if you wish to prove your prowess, take hold of a practice blade.” Holding out his hand one of his soldiers passed him his usual practice sword and wooden shield. “Unless you believe yourself incapable of upholding the skill and dedication of the Chevalier order.” Cullen had meant the insult to spurn the man, if at the least he would get a verbal strike in against him before his men. A sign of his faith in their training and his own. “Well, I suppose I could instruct you on our finer points Commander. Fereldan’s aren’t known for…”  
“Put your blade where your mouth is, lest I put mine there.” Cullen had entirely heard enough and was already walking to the center of the training arena. Spinning the hilt in his hand he was old enough not to get cock sure but still young enough to enjoy the rush of adrenaline. The primal urge to rise to the challenge. Turning he rolled his neck and watched as the man removed his helmet. Maker’s balls the man couldn’t be a day older than nine and ten summers. Yet he had insulted Cullen’s men and by extension him. Age would prove to be meaningless. 

“Who shall officiate this challenge? I hardly find it fair…”

“I will,” Cassandra crossed her arms and stood at the far corner of the arena. “It will be fair this way. First to be disarmed or knocked to their back loses. Do you agree to these terms?” 

“Of course,” Cullen smirked wide. Cassandra was the best choice, she would remain impartial and who dare argue with a Seeker. Digging his left toe into the dirt he settled into his fighting stance, leveling the sword over the top of his shield. “Ready when you are.” 

“Have at you!” The young man shouted as he rushed Cullen, sword up high. Cullen could barely contain the smirk across his lips. Easily sidestepping the first assault he smugly swatted the flat of his blade against the man’s rear. With the same speed he turned in preparation to block the attack he expected would follow his insult. Sure enough his shield caught the furious slash as the man pirouetted on the spot. “You insult me!” He growled at Cullen as he flicked his wrist, trying to turn the blade in a riposte. 

“I told you to put your blade where you mouth is.” Goading the man forward Cullen stepped inside and smashed him with his shield, sending him staggering to the side. But the young man caught his feet and in a flash was back charging into Cullen’s brunt side. Something Cullen had also anticipated. He’d seen enough Chevalier fights to know the basics and that any fighter when angered resorted to those basics. Parrying the next flourish Cullen could feel the arena swell, more people coming to watch, and he knew he needed to end this sooner than later. 

As the Chevalier charged in for another careless lunge, Cullen caught the pommel of the man’s sword with his shield, sending it tumbling away in the dirt. “Enough!” Cassandra instantly shouted and jumped in the middle. “The Commander had won; the Chevalier has been disarmed.” 

“You… You!” The youth raced forward, red in the face. Cullen pressed his shield into the man’s chest, “don’t ever accost my people again. Lest this moment end differently for you. Outside of the ring.” Growling his words, he lowered his gaze, burrowing through the boy with steely eyes. 

Cassandra peeled the young lad off and Cullen smirked. He’d caught the telltale wobble in the man’s step. There was no doubt in his mind he’d terrified the boy. Nodding he turned back to the crowd. “Show’s over get back to work. Recruits, two laps around Skyhold. NOW!” Calmly returning his practice gear to their racks he settled into a relaxed stance, enjoying the moment.   
“Well done Commander,” Cassandra chuckled. “He will not prove a nuisance anymore.”

“Thought you might agree. Drink?” He chuckled along with her as they headed into the tavern. Afterall fight fools leaves one’s mouth very dry.


	7. No Worries, We Still Have Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My OC Diana Trevelyan gets injured while out fighting red templars. Warning for blood mention, combat, injury and pain. Other than that, enjoy!

Fire raged as Diana dodged the wide slash of the over eager red templar. Rolling up she narrowly missed the next flurry. Red templars were resilient with stamina for days. Blocking another thrust forward she caught his arm with her blade, slamming it through his flesh till the glowing crimson blood stained the ground. As he retracted with a howl, she pushed on, ramming her blade into his neck in an upward arc. It was deep, deep enough he’d bleed out in a few moment, red lyrium be damned. Turning on her heel, her luck ran out. Buried several inches into her side the blade exited her back. Thinking quickly, she pulled him into her and smashed his face with her shield. He released the blade and she staggered a few steps backwards. As long as the blade held where it was no further damage would be done. 

“Diana!” Dorian’s panicked cry came from across the battle field, followed by a roar that sent several more reds scattering to the ground. Iron Bull’s ax cleaved one man in two as they both made a frantic push to reach her. 

Closing her eyes for a moment she drew in a deep breath. “Nothing serious, he missed all the good bits,” she half choked out over the pain. Varric was at her side, leveling a volley of arrows to cover them. Her legs wobbled, and she dropped to her knees. With the jarring motion came a new wave of pain. “Princess, we need to…”

“Don’t touch the blade. I’ll bleed out too quickly. We need to get to camp, my chest…” Gritting her teeth against the pain she rose from her knees still breathing deeply. “Clear the way my friend.” 

“Sparkler, Tiny, camp. Now!” Varric shouted as he kept pace with her, slow and deliberate as he picked off templar after templar. “You can lean on me if you need to. Dwarves are a lot sturdier than we look.” 

“Thank you, Master Tethras but I can manage. Just, not much further. I believe shock will set in soon. Talk to me, I need… I need something to focus on.” Struggling against the agonizing pain she felt the fog cling to the edge of her vision, cobwebs beginning to cling to her brain. “Alright Princess, did I ever tell you the story of how we met good ol’ Corypheus? It’s a long one, but Blonde lit up like a Wintersend tree. It all started…” He went into his story and as was Varric’s talent he kept her aware, glued to the tale. 

When they arrived at camp, Dorian and Bull weren’t far behind. Dorian instantly rushed to her tent to collect her chest. “Which ones?” He stared at the little bottles, powders and herbs. “Two of the ones on the top left. One from the third row, four in from the left as well. You’ll need… water… boiled.” Bull had sat her upon a log, trying to steady the blade. “We’re going to have to take this out boss… you uh…”

“When Dorian is. Those items will make a paste. Seal the wound as best as you can, then apply the…” she dipped to the side before Bull grabbed her, fresh pain causing her to cry out. “pat it on, wrap and watch for breathing issues. If I…” growling she fought off the urge to sleep. “Use the blue powder with a pinch of the green, brew it and hold the steam in the tent. Please, hurry.” 

“I have the preparation going, Varric can you finish it?” Dorian turned to see Varric’s eager nod. “This is going to hurt, you will likely pass out, Bull will…”

“I know. I….”

“I’m sorry… We…” Dorian looked at the blade and cringed. Diana gave him a soft reassuring smile, “No worries, we still have time for all the good wine and gossip. If you pull me out of this, I’ll dish on the Commander’s dirty little kinks.” 

Bull instantly broke into a roaring laugh, “even half dead you’ve got balls boss. Come on. Let’s be done with this.” Bull took hold of the hilt, Dorian’s hands glowed faintly. “Slowly Bull, I can work as you pull. Be ready to catch her.” 

Diana did loss consciousness one pull into it and when she work, laying in her tent, thick bandages wrapped about her waist she laid there. “She’s awake!” Varric yelled out rushing from the tent. “Vishante kaffas Varric, she may not stay awake and your bellowing is of little help.” Dorian huffed before pulling back the tent flaps. “Diana?”

“Good morning cousin. Did my beauty sleep run over?” Diana smiled as she tried to lean up on her elbow. Dorian flopped down beside her with an exaggerated huff. “Not at all darling. I would dare say you can have some more if you wish. We’re in no rush these days. But I do warn that a certain blonde templar may have a few things to say when we return.” 

“Tattle tale.” Diana poked Dorian shoulder before grimacing and returning to her laying position, “see if I tell you anything.” 

“I’ll take being scolded for a time if it means I get to keep you.” Dorian sighed heavily before laying next to her, “it was close back there, you know. I’m no healer.”

“A Necromancer keeping people alive, I swear to tell no one.” Taking his hand in hers, they laid staring at the tent ceiling. “Thank you. Maybe a small bit of gossip.”

“Maker yes.” Dorian chuckled as he snuggled in to her.


	8. I Know You Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> VERY short. It was a busy day, being a Canadian holiday so I threw this together after turkey and exhaustion. I hope you enjoy!

“You’re being unreasonable!” Diana shouted as she paced back and forth in her quarters, a few inches from her desk, where Cullen was busy writing. “I am not requesting your permission, this is…”

“This is where I stand upon the matter.” Cullen tapped the quill against the ink pot as he went to finish the last line of his missive. “I don’t know why you refuse to see the logic in this.” Blotting the parchment, he sighed heavily before standing. “I am not changing my mind on this matter. Take that as you will.” Rolling it he tied a ribbon about it and touched the edge with the wax he had sitting by. “I have to see Leliana. Is there anything else?” 

Diana pouted with her arms crossed tight against her chest, “are you seriously not going to give me a chance to speak on this? A chance to explain?”

“There’s nothing to explain. While I regard you as a seasoned and exceptional warrior, I don’t see what reason you need to go out and hunt a dragon.” Slipping the scroll into his mantle’s inside pocket he threw his hand out. “And there is no way you can convince me. Clothes on or off.” Smirking he caught the mild glower from her. “I’m more than aware of your many techniques and tactics. Nothing will sway me from wanting to keep you safe. I love you too much to see you unnecessarily place yourself in harm’s way.” 

Diana opened and closed her mouth a couple more times, clearly struggling. After a brief moment Cullen shrugged his shoulders and began to move towards the stairs. “It’s not fair!” 

“Things rarely are love.” He chuckled. “Don’t you start sweet talking. I’m angry at you right now, but I still love you. Ass.” She snipped much to his enjoyment. Laughing he paused at the top of the steps, “I know you do. I’ll be in my tower if you have need of me. But don’t try to barter your way out of this. I’ve gone years without sex, I can hold out a long time.” Winking he nodded, “and I know you can’t. Once the anger fades you’ll see reason. You usually do. I’ll see you at dinner.” Tipping his head, he took the steps rapidly, her loud growl behind him all the way.


	9. You Shouldn't Have Come Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: some blood mentioned, not overly graphic but for those concerned it is there. Depression or sad feels also discussed. Enjoy!

Sweat rolled off his shoulders as he threw another punch at the straw packed dummy. His knuckles were well past the point of numb. Small nicks and cuts were beginning to seep bright crimson as he continued his flurry of attacks. Lyrium. That was his current problem. Everything ached and burned, his head swam, and he had lost some sensation in his finger tips and toes. All of this when they needed him. How much more could he take? Not wanting that thought to override he took another few swipes at the dummy, knocking it back half a step. 

There were some bystanders that once they caught the pained look upon Cullen’s face quickly cleared the area. He was alone now and had been for some time. Shirtless and with steam swirling off his skin he hadn’t slowed down since he started. This would be the only way he’d get to sleep tonight, by draining himself physically and emotionally. 

Time slipped from his mind as he poured his rage, pain and frustration into his hands until they themselves began to pour. Crimson stained the burlap of the dummy and slowly trickled down his clenched knuckles. Growling one last time he kicked the dummy, sending it to the ground. Leaving his tunic upon the training yard fence he stormed the steps back up to his office, trailing droplets of scarlet in his wake.

In his office he settled into his chair, some elfroot paste and torn bits of clothe laid out on his desk. He went about cleaning the cuts, pulling some of the straw from the wounds before applying the green ointment and wrapping them. It wasn’t his first time, nor would it be his last. Silently he tidied up, tossing some of the blood caked rags into the waste bin set by the door for the servants. Taking in a long dreg from the bottle of honey mead he wished the burn he felt in his throat was worse. He was in a mood to hurt to kill one pain with another. 

“Drinking alone isn’t a good idea,” Diana’s voice was light, angelic and soothing. Everything he didn’t want. He wanted to be told he was a failure, that everything he was striving for would fall apart. Because of him. Draining the last of the ale he half slammed it upon his desk, “you shouldn’t have come here.” 

“Why shouldn’t I? Because you’ve dirtied your hands and wish to wallow in self pity?” Diana always had a barbed tongue eagerly cutting away the insecurities of other, digging down to the core hurt and wrenching it out. “Diana, I am in no mood…”

“I see.” She latched each door, one by one, before standing an arms reach from his chair, between his feet. “Your mood matters not to me. I see pain. Witnessed a rather bloody scene in the training yard. Was told the Lion of Fereldan was letting his claws loose on a defenseless bag of straw.” Crossing her arms, her voice was level and sweet. “And I know my Cullen isn’t like this.” Kneeling before him she took each of his hands in hers. “This pain won’t make up for the pain inside and it won’t drown it out. It may hurt but speaking…”

“I… I can’t…” He swallowed hard, trying to will the lump of guilt and self loathing back down. “I… I’m not…”

“Then let me speak.” Brushing her fingers over the edges of the bandages she brought them to her lips and kissed each knuckle, barely a feathered touch against them. “We all make mistakes, some that shatter our dreams, our pride or the world as we see it. We do the best we can in the moment we are in. Our hubris makes us look back and question what we can no longer control.” Cullen leaned back in his chair, letting her words slip over him and pour down into his being. “I’ve made terrible mistakes. Some that have cost the lives of those I held dear. Torn my world apart and cast me away. But I cannot change them, for all I wish or pray they are done. All I can do now, is carry that knowledge I have gained and strive to never make that mistake again.” Rising from her knees she motioned to sit in his lap and he adjusted himself to allow her. “You are a good man, Cullen Stanton Rutherford. No matter what the little voice inside says. You are not responsible solely for mages, templars, Meredith Stannard, the Order or any other travesty that happened around you. Remove yourself from those pictures. Does the outcome change?”

“No.” He closed his eyes. For as much as he wanted to hate himself, hate all that had happened, she was right. Removing himself would have changed nothing. Meredith would have gone crazy with or without him. The Chantry blown to tinder and this war would still be waged. It was a long time coming and he was laying far too much upon his own shoulder. Sighing heavily, he wrapped his arms around her, cradling her to his chest. “Perhaps you are right, perhaps I am too hard upon myself. Time and history will be the judge of my actions or inactions. Thank you.”

“It’s what I’m here for.” Diana leaned up and pressed another gently kiss to the edge of his scarred lip. “We all suffer, but we don’t have to. The chains of our past are by choice wrapped about us not shackled by themselves. You’re nearly free of one leash, don’t exchange it for another.” Running her fingers through his hair she enjoyed the soft bounce of curls, loosened by his sweat. “And I’ll continue to love you no matter what. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.” 

Together they laughed before Cullen cleared his throat, “and I would have it no other way.”


	10. You Think This Troubles Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentioning if sickness, and some depressive thoughts. Fluffy ending.

Pain. Searing through to his spine chased his nightmare. Staggering to get up he felt his stomach roll. Barely aware of where he was he stumbled in a rush towards the balcony. Standing in the icy mountain air he wretched over the railing, trying to keep himself on his feet. Sweat clung to his bare back, neck and temples and he was thankful for the chill settling over him. Weakly he clutched at his stomach, before letting himself crumple down to his knees, tears edged his eyes. Gasping in breaths of air he wanted to disappear, prayed to be invisible. “Here, have some water,” Diana’s voice was soft as the cup was placed beside him. With trembling hand, he reached for it, sloshing some onto the floor as he went to try to take a sip. Her hand helped guide it to his parched lips. Cold water slipped easily over his tongue and down his throat, helping to bleed away the last of the nausea and soothe the fire burning through his veins. Draining it down he exhaled long and low. “I’m sorry.” 

“For what?” Diana paused, confused by his statement before returning to her quarters to collect a wash cloth. Heating it near the fire she brought it over and carefully wiped the sweat from his back and neck. “Come sit by the hearth. I’ll make you a tea.” Looping her arm in his she helped him rise to his feet and back through the balcony doors into the warmth. Settling him in the chair by the fire, she carefully stoked the flames, adding another log. “You don’t have to…” he half croaked out before clearing his throat, still raw from the prior moment. “I can…”

“You think this troubles me?” She sighed heavily, knelt before him. “Cullen look at me.” Walking upon her knees towards him she settled between his open legs, taking his hands in hers. Looping her fingers within his she brought them to her face, pressing a kiss to each tip. “You will champion this. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

“Easy for you to say,” he hung his head, still struggling with the edge of his nightmares trying to claw him back into their dark arms. “I can’t…”

“You don’t have to.” Rising she turned and went about collecting a few items from a small wooden chest upon her desk. Dropping them in a mug she stirred away. Adding some of the water from a kettle by the fire she blew across the top. “Sip this, slowly.” Passing him the mug she settled back at his feet. “We all have nightmares, waking and sleeping. No one here within these stone walls can claim with any truth to have clean hands, Cullen. Our lives aren’t so easy as the farmers in their fields.” Tossing a bit of torn paper into the fire, Diana leaned against his leg. “We’re all broken, but we move forwards just to the same.” 

“You seem to be speaking closer to your own soul than my own, aren’t you?” Sipping at the tea slowly he ran his hand through her hair. Silky and soft, he watched as the light from the flickering flame danced and made her hair seem like a ruby glimmering in his palm. “Perhaps I am, perhaps I need to hear it as much as you do.” Snuggling her head upon his lap she sighed out long and heavy. “I love you, you know, that right? No matter what you think of yourself, how hard things have been, I love the man I see before me. In pieces and whole, nothing would I change about you.” 

Cullen paused his hand, looking down into her forest green eyes he wanted to see a lie. Wanted with all of himself in that moment to see that she was putting on some airs to lull him into a false pride. But no, there was an honesty that ached, that hungered for him to know it; to feel it. “Let’s go back to bed. Skyhold still needs it’s Inquisitor well rested.”

Together they walked back to the bed and snuggled under the covers. Cullen wrapped his arm around her waist before she turned in his arm, laying with her face barely an inch from his. “And the Inquisitor needs her Commander.” Brushing a loose curl from the edge of his forehead she kissed his nose, “I need you.” Before he could utter a word back she quietly rolled back over and molded into him.

Laying in silence for a few moments he mulled it over, letting her words sink into his skin. “I promise never to fail either.” He whispered before kissing her shoulder and closing his eyes.


	11. But I Will Never Forget!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mild warning for depression, again fluffy endings are my thing. Enjoy!

It was upon the trip back to Skyhold that things began to deteriorate. Cullen had not uttered a single word since the Tranquil took his life at the Shrine of Dumat and Diana couldn’t find the words to speak. This was an old wound, one ripped fresh and raw by Samson. Someone Cullen had hoped to put a stop to was now back upon the roads and causing no less danger than before. On the last day of their journey he was fit to be tied, growling and snapping at everyone. It didn’t tempter upon their return to Skyhold. He buried himself in his work, instantly returning to the training fields and pushing the recruits to their limits.

Diana gave him his space, hoping time would mend whatever wound he suffered from. It wasn’t until the third night without him by her side did she finally swallow her pride and go to him. Pushing through the front door of his tower she gasped at the sight before her. He looked as if he hadn’t eaten or slept since they returned to the keep. “Cullen?”

“Inquisitor,” he stumbled to get up and the smell of ale was heavy in the air. “What are… what are you doing here?”

“I was worried for you. We should probably talk.” Stepping over some papers that had spilled to the floor she stayed on the opposite side of the desk, away from him. “Have you eaten? When did you sleep last?”

“I am fine.” He slurred as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Shaking his head, he went back to trying to read through some papers. Only to become frustrated. “Cullen this isn’t healthy, and you know it.” Rolling her eyes, she padded over to stand beside him. “Cullen. What happened…”

“It never stopped.” His hand trembled as he clenched his fist. “Everyone seems to forget but I will never forget!” His breath was ragged as he gripped his head in his hands, “will these thoughts never leave me?!”

In an instant Diana reacted, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into her. With her eyes closed she waited, prepared for whatever violent attempt me may make to break free from her. When nothing came she opened them, his arms were around her waist and he was sobbing bitterly against her. Carding her fingers through his hair she hummed. Long forgotten were the words but the melody was one she knew well. Only the soft tune filled the air for many moments before Cullen sniffled hard. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. These things will get better, I promise, and I will be here through all of it.” Sighing she paused and pulled his face up, “you need sleep and food. Sleep will be easier now. I can stay or…”

“Stay. Please. I know you hate the whole in the roof and I’ve been meaning to fix it I just…”

“The stars are particularly bright tonight. If you have the extra blankets, I think I can manage for one night.” Kissing his forehead, she eagerly tugged him up towards the ladder. This Cullen was someone no one would recognize. A man drowning in demons of his own, that when the morning’s rays came could pull the mantle of Commander over the shadows of his life and move like nothing every happened. His tears were private, shed in the comfort of trust. In time they would lessen, and she never judged a single one. Each time humming the same nameless song, bringing him back from the void’s edge where he thought to throw himself. “Growing pains,” she called them when the haunted expression crept over his features. “Thank you,” he would wince as he uttered the words, always afraid the outcome would be worse than it was. Afraid that this would be the time she decided he was enough. But that time never came and years later when the scar was silvery and sealed he smiled at her, “I am the luckiest man in Thedas, do you know why?” He’d tease her in the kitchen of their homestead. “No, why would you think such things.” She would return his playful tone as she prepared the evening meal. “Because I have the smartest, bravest and kindest woman in all of Thedas calling me her husband.”


	12. Who Could Do This?

“Andraste’s knicker weasels!” Bellowed out over Skyhold and the collective keep froze. It was uncharacteristic of the Commander to utter such blasphemous words let alone scream them loud enough for all of Skyhold to hear him. Something must have been wrong. Diana groaned as she rose from the chair in the rotunda, setting her wine down upon the table, “I apologize dear cousin, it seems I am needed.” 

“You managed that from knicker weasels? Which by the way I am dying to know exactly what that is and why it seems to inflict Andraste? Would you kindly ask our boisterous Commander that one?” Dorian stretched out like a cat before rising to see her off. “I’ll try my best, but a good portion of my being really doesn’t want to know.” Diana chuckled wearily. “I have a feeling Sera may be up to her pranks again. I hope this doesn’t boil into something more.” Groaning again she downed the last of her wine before returning it to the table. “I will return.”

“Oh, take your time, the wine won’t go to waste without you,” Dorian smirked wide as he toyed with the edge of the goblet, ringing his finger over the rim. “I promise to leave you a glass.”

“Boar.” She said as she scrunched her nose and stuck her tongue out at him. “Best be a bottle after this.” 

“We can barter the price of the bottle later,” Dorian waved. Diana quickly jogged down the steps and towards the door facing Cullen’s tower. Crossing the bridge, she watched as the door flew open and two fennecs came bounding, terrified out the door, down the wall and into the courtyard before they scrambled out of sight. “Knicker weasels?” She chuckled as she knocked upon the door. “Cullen…”

“Don’t even ask who could do this. I mean, who else could have done this? It had to be Sera, and she’s gone too far this time.” His hair was a mess and his shirt twisted about him in a bunch. With a quick scan of him she could tell right away that he was in the process of undressing and possibly preparing to head to the bath house when the insult occurred. “I suppose I can guess who caused this easily enough.” Covering her mouth to muffle the chuckle she looked about the room. “At least nothing was ruin I assume.” 

“Only my pride.” Cullen huffed flopping into his chair. Peeling his shirt over his head he adjusted it before returning it. “Who could do this?” He mumbled in a mocking voice. “Damned brat.” 

“Give her a break. She’s only trying to improve morale the best she knows how, jackboot.” Diana snickered. “No harm was done.” Swaying her hips, she closed the distance between them and stood behind his chair. Working her hands over his shoulders, she began to knead at the tight muscle. “All of Skyhold got a good laugh. I’m assured that the recruits will run just as fast and hard when you bellow at them later.” Pressing a kiss to his temple she waited for a moment. “Want me to scout out the bath house?”

“Please.” He uttered completely dejected. “I’ll be right back. And I’ll speak to Sera for you.” Patting his shoulders, she tried to keep her composure as she shut the door behind her. Walking towards the bath house she paused, “I know you’re there Sera, come on out.”

“No fun.” Sera grumbled popping out from behind a bush. “Old Jackboot sure does squeal loud. Wasn’t expecting that.” She was giggling as she walked alongside Diana. “I’m almost afraid to ask where you got the fennec from.” Diana giggled until they hit the bath house, “please tell me this area is prank free.”

“Of course! I was planning on egging him along the way, but you went and spoiled that.” Sera huffed. “Could you just leave him be for a bit? For me?” Diana pleaded.

“Ugh fine. Go spend time with your Cully Wully. Bull might be up from drinks.” 

“Bull is always up for drinks,” Diana chuckled as she dug in her pocket. Pulling out a gold coin she handed it to Sera, “enjoy a couple drinks on me. Oh, and next time, no live animals or insects. Please. I don’t want to find those furry friends in my bed.” 

“Fine.” Sera shrugged, “don’t need them for a good prank. Laters Inquisitor.” Waving the shorted haired elf dashed out of sight. Returning to Cullen, Diana reassured him he wouldn’t need to worry about bugs or animals moving forward but that was the best she could offer.


	13. Try Harder, Next Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short with Blackwall training a rather annoying twit. Enjoy!

Blackwall blocked the next volley with a hearty chuckle before returning with a flourish of his own. “Good, excellent foot work.” He halted the training exercise and spoke briefly to the crowd standing around. Cullen crossed his arms tightly and bit back the snarl from his lips. ‘Blackwall’, it was the name he was using. “A title perhaps, like Inquisitor. Something to live up to.” He had told Diana. Now Cullen was watching him impart Marcher style combat skills. Skills he’d picked up from many travels and many people. 

Diana had suggested this, as a way to help rebuild trust between the men and Thom. Plus, even Cullen had to admit his fighting style was unique and the recruits would only benefit from more instruction. Cullen was there to quell any potential issues but as the time wore on he was more than convinced Thom could handle himself. Waving his hand to a messenger he sent word to bring some missives his way. 

Thumbing through the small stack in his hand he began reading through, paying little attention to the training yard until he caught Blackwall laugh. It wasn’t his usual laugh, full of mirth and joy but something more wicked. Peering over his report he caught sight of the pending brawl. Rowan was at it again. If the fool was reliable it was only that he was going to get himself beat, again. Cullen had spoken three times to Josephine about the young lad but being the son of a Chevalier, he was stuck with them. Or to be more far he was there to ‘learn how to be a proper gentleman and strong soldier.’ Two things could not be further from the truth. Diana had done her best to wine and dine the man’s father, dancing with him at the Winter Palace but still he was set on his son’s appointment within the ranks of the Inquisition. And like the cock crowing at morn and night, Rowan was once again trying to best his instructor. Despite having the skill of a fish climbing a tree. 

Thom rolled his shoulders, “lad, I have seen more combat than you have hairs on your nethers. Would you seriously be so foolish as to try to face me?” Taking the heavy wooden blade in his hand he sized up the whip of a boy, no more than nine and ten winters. “Boy, I would turn you into dust. Best to open your eyes and ears and learn proper.” 

“You are no instructor. I could easily break you.” He waved his hand at Blackwall, mocking him before he pointed his practice blade at him. “Will you run from a challenge old man?”

Again, Blackwall laughed, “I run from nothing.” Rising his shield, he tapped his sword against it, “first to fall, then. Marcher’s rules.”

“Marcher’s rules?” The boy barely got the words out of his mouth when Blackwall charged him. Being the clutz Rowan was he barely had time to dodge the shield bash that would have sent him flying, easily. Blackwall was a clean four stone larger than he and a full head taller. Swallowing his broken pride, he resorted to attempting to out run him; in circles. 

“Maker, that reminds me of Hawke facing the Arishok!” Varric was in stitches, barely able to stand upon his feet while Cullen continued to glower. Rowan was going to get himself killed one of these days and no matter what Cullen did to drill it through the stubborn ass’s head it seemed his fate was to die being a useless prick. “Finish it Blackwall!” Cullen bellowed.

“With pleasure.” Blackwall grinned turning on his heel and running straight into Rowan’s unwitting path. With a heave of his shoulders, he dipped at his waist and caught the lad under his belt line. With a grunt he hurled the boy up and over his head upon his shield. With a thunderous whoosh the young man was laid out upon his back. Everyone watching began to clap and cheer. “Try harder, next time.” Blackwall sneered as he handed his gear to the waiting scout. “That’ll be all for today."


	14. Some People Call This Wisdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana is met with Blackwall's confession and after speaking with Cullen decides a course of action. Enjoy!

Diana descended into the dark, dank jail cells of Val Royeux. With her heart hammering in her chest she was struggling to catch herself, to control the shock and building panic. Blackwall, or Thom had admitted his identity upon the gallows, saving a man’s life. Her throat burned from her screams. This wasn’t happening, this couldn’t be happening. Not Blackwall, not the man she knew. Bled with, sweat with and fought alongside. “Why are you here?” He grumbled, sitting upon the small bench within his cell. For a moment Diana didn’t utter a word, too busy trying in vain to school her features, to control the flood of emotions racing through her veins at break neck speed.

“I need…” Clearing her throat again she curled her toes in her boots. “I need the truth. All of it, spare me nothing.” Folding her ands behind her back she squeezed her fingers, trying to give her mind something else to focus on outside seeing him like this. Blackwall or Thom was more than a friend to her, her was like a brother and she was dying inside. “What do you want to know? I ordered the death of Callier and anyone along with him. I didn’t know his family would be there and men loyal to me did as I told them to. What more do you need?” Thom rose and slammed his hands against the bars, the reverberating resonance echoed through the halls and stung her ears. “I am a monster!”

“I need to… I need to think.” She staggered a couple steps backwards, trying to clear the cobwebs in her mind as she instantly thought of all their times together and the truth laid bare before her.

“Think upon what? I am guilty. I deserve what has been handed down. Leave me.” Waving his hand Thom slipped down the bars to rest upon the floor, his back to her.

“Damn you,” she stomped her foot and marched out the doors. Heading up the steps she waited for the guard’s captain to open the gate to let her out. With her head down, she nearly bulled over Cullen. “What are you….”

“Walk with me.” Grabbing her behind the elbow he whisked her out the doors and behind the near by market. “Leliana gave me a heads up when you left. She knew. I know not when she knew but…”

“But obviously she wasn’t expecting him to develop a conscience.” Crossing her arms, she struggled to maintain her composure. “I know how much he means to you,” Cullen’s slipped his hands over her arms to wrap her in a warm hug. “You aren’t powerless in this. We can do something to…”

“Get him out of there Cullen, I don’t care how, I don’t even care if you kill every last guard in that jail. Just get him out and bring him home.” She gritted her teeth as she looked about them, no one around to see or hear. Only the sound of someone playing at the local tavern and people haggling over the price of silk in the building close to them. “I know I shouldn’t feel like this and it’s probably wrong but…”

“But you’ve only known him as Blackwall. Grey Warden, companion and friend. Without his speech at the battle of Adamant I think it would have ended with far more casualties all around.” Sighing Cullen kissed her forehead quickly. “I will make the necessary arrangements, personally.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to seem selfish. I just can’t see it. Callier and his family are dead, and I will acknowledge that is a tragedy. But will killing Blackwall or whatever his name, make a difference? It feels so senseless when he could atone. Make it right by serving a greater purpose.” Nestling her head into Cullen’s mantle she sighed, “I suppose some people call this wisdom. Seeing the world in a way that isn’t as black and white as people want it to be.”

“It can be.” Cullen ran his gloved hand through her hair, soothing her best he could. “You are right, he is an excellent swordsman, and a loyal member of the Inquisition. I can’t judge him. I… My hands are no less dirty, and I am the Commander.” Diana could hear Cullen swallow hard, his breath deep in the next moment. “Leliana will probably have the best method and least bloody. I can send word…”

“We ride now,” standing tall she took Cullen’s hands in hers. “The sooner we move the better.”

A lone bird fluttered its wings upon the roost, “I see you have brought me word,” Leliana smiled rubbing her finger over the head of the black feathered messenger. Untying the note, she read the short one-line reply, “we keep what’s ours.” Smiling she cooed again to the bird before feeding him a scrap of meat. Turning to her scout she held the message, “tell Painter we need to make the switch. Have the man drugged and prepare enough to sedate the other. Our contingency plan is in motion. We move as soon as our substitute is prepared. Go.” No sooner had she finished the scout raced from the rookery. “Hold on Thom.” Leliana smiled softly as she slowly descended the steps, making her way to Josephine.


	15. I Thought You Had Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen remembers his parents on All Souls Day. A but morose.

All Souls Day wasn’t a celebration for Cullen. It hadn’t been for years, not since he was a small boy. Now it was a somber day. Not spent glossing over the pyre of the Most Blessed Andraste, as he was told it should be by the Revered Mothers in the Order. No, it was more. It was for the loss that he felt bitterly this year. Buried deep inside and left unspoken for too long. Ten years ago, the Blight ravaged the land, stripping away life wherever it landed, and his home was no different. 

It wasn’t right away that he received the letters. He was in solitary prayer in Kirkwall when the messenger brought it to him. “Mother and Father perished in the Blight. In the Darkspawn attack at Honnleath. The Hero of Fereldan arrived too late. She saved what few villagers stayed at old Wilhelm’s. I would send further word, but I do not wish to upset you, dearest brother. There wasn’t anything you could have done. They attacked at nightfall, taking the women, and burning what they could not run through. Please, we are thinking of you deeply. Myself, Branson and Rosalie made it out and are staying in South Reach. Write me as soon as you are able.” Signed Mia Rutherford. 

He’d kept that letter, through everything. This All Souls Day he touched the worn edges of the parchment before placing it back in his desk. Blowing out the candles he quietly walked towards the gardens. His mother loved flowers, he remembered that fondly. She’d come into the kitchen with mud upon her cheek and his father would carefully dab at it with rag before whisking her in a twirl, a tune upon his lips. There was magic in those few memories and he cherished them like gems. 

Night was already beginning to fall over the keep and the lamps had all been lit. Scant few people mulled about as soon as the lamp lighters finished their work. He knew that he was now alone. Alone with his thoughts and the sweet smell of flowers in the garden. Something caught his eye as he strolled the pathway. It was a simple flower, white pedals with an orangish center. He’d remembered seeing that flower before, his father would bring them into the house for his mother. Pausing he caught the edge of a purple cloak. “Leliana?” He squinted to see the shape as it stepped into the light. “What are you…”

“I tend the Andraste’s Grace when I have a moment. The Inquisitor had them brought in just a few days ago and I think they are taking to Skyhold quite nicely.” Leliana had a single flower between her fingertips. Cullen smiled, “they were my mother’s favorite.”

“My mother’s as well.” Leliana’s smile grew as she nodded towards the bush. “She’s waiting for you. Blessed All Souls Day, Commander.” Bowing her head, Leliana calmly strolled back towards the main hall.

She was set to meet him there, after nightfall and he could see the lantern in her outstretched hand. Cupping a flower, he bent to smell it. “I thought you had forgotten that story.” He sighed rubbing the petal gently between his fingers. It was soft, like velvet and ever so delicate. Something his mother had said to him one day when he went to pluck one for her. “Careful Cullen. Andraste’s Grace is a beautiful flower, but it is fragile and easy to tear or kill. You need to be kind to it and respect it’s space.” 

“Of course, how could I forget? It was important to you.” She smiled allowing him to wrap his arm about her waist. “Blessed All Souls Day Cullen.” Pressing a kiss to his cheek she rested her head against his shoulder. “Mother Gisele will be starting her sermon in a few moments.”

“I know,” Cullen carefully plucked a single flower and placed it behind her ear. “Thank you.” Looping his arm about hers, he walked with her towards the small chapel in the back of the garden. “My mother used to wear one in her hair, just like that when father brought home a fresh bundle. She loved how they smelt, fresh and bright, not like the usual muddy air.” 

“Fereldan has a quaint wet dog scent,” she chuckled back before catching a whiff of the flower. “It is a beautiful smell.”

“Home. Some would say,” squeezing her hand in his, he paused outside the closed door. “Ten years is a long time. I only hope I’ve lived up to their expectations.” 

“I’m sure you’ve doubled it, Commander.” She paused again to wipe at the tear edging his eye. “Come, we have many to remember.” 

“Sadly, we do,” drawing in a deep breath he straightened his back and pulled wide the door.


	16. This is Gonna be so Much Fun!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super short, sorry was not feeling this one. I hope you enjoy it all the same. Thanks!

Varric led the way, through the main hall and down the steps towards the tavern. “I even managed to get Curly to come out tonight.”

“How did you manage that one,” Diana couldn’t keep the grin off her face. The last time they had all gotten together to play a few rounds of Wicked Grace, Cullen had lost more than his coin purse. “I was certain he would never return to the table.”

“Ah but I have a little trick up my sleeve.” Winking he pushed the tavern door wide, “same spot as before.” 

Together they trudged up the steps towards the second floor. Tucked away in the corner she caught an unfamiliar sight, “Knight-Captain Rylen?”

“Yep, Curly’s weakness.” Varric chuckled as he quickened his pace to take his usual seat, right beside Cullen. “Who’s dealing? Ruffles can’t make it. Lucky for you Curly.”  
“Please don’t remind me,” groaning loudly Cullen reached for his tankard. Bull snorted as Dorian flourished his hand and the deck began to shuffle itself. “This is gonna be so much fun!” Snorting Bull topped up everyone’s drinks. 

Settling into her seat, Diana could feel eyes upon her. Nothing unusual. Picking her cards up she tossed in her bet. “Alright, this is for fun. No one is losing their shirt tonight. It seems we have a guest at our table. Knight-Captain, welcome.” 

“Please, ma’am just Rylen at this table,” he grinned wide plunking down his coin. “How shall I address you, my lady?” 

Diana caught the subtle scowl flicker across Cullen’s face and she smiled, “Diana. Please. At this table we have no titles. Unless the fair Master Tethras see’s fit to give you one.” Waving her hand to Varric the table bustled with chuckles as coins bounced into the center. 

After a bit of chatter and several drinks later Diana leaned over the table, “you are…. You’re a terrible bluffer Commander.” 

“I am not.” He half whined tossing his cards, “I fold. Blasted luck.” 

“Luck isn’t your issue Curly. It’s that permanent frown on your face. Seriously you keep that up and your face is going to stick like that.” Varric chuckled downing his ale. “Maybe you and Princess could work on putting a smile on there.” He chuckled loudly as Cullen’s cheeks darkened. Diana unabashedly laughed along. “Oh, he smiles Varric. Wide as…”

“That’ll be enough at my expense.” Cullen cleared his throat loudly he shifted in his chair. Before he could steer the conversation back into less involved channels Rylen spoke up. “Aye, do tell. Last I caught sight of him it wasn’t a happy time. He seems much brighter and if it’s due to the lass, I say we toast to her.” 

“Maker’s breath, N…”

“Ya to the boss lady for putting a bounce in his step by bouncing in his bed!” Bull roared lifting his tankard. Right then and there, Cullen vowed to never except an offer to play Wicked Grace from Varric again.


	17. I'll Tell You But You're Not Gonna Like It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning for some blood and mention of a wound.

Hissing hard Cullen dabbed the alcohol-soaked rag over the long gash upon his shoulder. It was his fault, his hubris that had caused the wound. Furthermore, his pride to not seek a healer. Pushing another dry clothe against it, he dug through his book case, seeking the small box filled with bandages and elfroot salve. Grumbling, it stung mercilessly. Hearing the door open he went to move, accidentally knocking the box and all it’s contents to the floor. “Cullen!” Diana half shrieked. “What happened?”

“I’ll tell you, but you’re not gonna like it.” Cullen grimaced as he bent to collect the items. “You look like you’ve been in a knife fight,” Diana instantly came to his side and began picking up the spilled medical supplies. 

Cullen let out a long sigh, sitting upon the stone he started his story. During the training session with the recruits, Blackwall had stood in to watch a few lessons. Twice he interjected to correct the posture of a recruit and Cullen had let it be. By the fourth time, Cullen was getting hot under the collar. Once he had finished his lesson, he set the recruits to their studies and several laps about Skyhold. With them out of the way he marched straight over to Blackwall, “is there a problem with how I teach?”

“None. Just thought a helping hand might speed things along.” Blackwall had a grin upon his lips, his arms crossed tightly. “I could throw a lesson or two together if you need a rest.” It was that statement that spurned on Cullen’s ego. “Break? Perhaps you’d like to teach me, personally, now.” Tugging out the blunted steel he felt unusually sure of himself. Blackwall seemed no less sure than before. Meeting him in the arena the lesson was cordial if not tense at first. Until Blackwall landed a blow that Cullen thought he should have normally had. Things dissolved from there. Soon they were exchanging hard blows that left their marks on both men. 

It was the long gash to Cullen’s unarmored shoulder that ended the fight. “Shit are you alright?” Blackwall instantly dropped his blade and rushed to Cullen’s side. “No, I’m fine. It’s nothing.” Cullen grimaced as crimson began to seep through his training tunic’s torn edge. “I should tend to this.” He didn’t let Blackwall get another word in and instantly turned to head to his tower. 

“Pride in knowing, pride in the doing. I should have been more careful, not let my head get away from me, what’s wrong with me?” Cole’s voice walked with him. “He was trying to help, it wasn’t an insult. He respects you greatly. He is sad for the hurt he caused.” Cole was ahead of him, holding the door open as Cullen pushed through. “It was my mistake, I’ll make it right later.” Cullen grumbled as he went to his desk to pull the shirt off. “You are pushing yourself too hard. Trying to make up for past pains. I can help.” Cole was sitting on the edge of his desk, rocking his feet back and forth. 

Cullen paused, his hands splayed upon the desk. “I… No, I need to deal with this myself. It’s my problem Cole.”

“The little blue vial sings to you. Makes your head hurt. But you are quieter when she is here. Maybe she can help.” With a blink Cole was gone and Cullen was all too aware of who she was. Reaching for the bottle of vodka under his desk he poured some upon a cloth and started to clean out the wound. 

Diana pressed a bit of the green paste into the three inch wide gash, “here.” Handing him a section of leather she sighed, “it’s deeper than I thought. I’ll have to stitch it. Unless you wish to end this foolishness and seek a healer.” 

“Just bandage it,” Cullen growled. “It isn’t that deep. That paste will seal it. I’ll need to change it out a couple times but…”

“Does your pride know no bounds,” Diana grumbled as she pushed a bit harder on the wound. “Be it as you wish.”

“Diana…” Cullen went to say something as she rose and turned her back. “I’ll see a healer. Please, don’t… Don’t be like this.”

“Be like what?” Diana stopped dead in her tracks and whipped about, clearly upset. “You were reckless and pushed the fight to the point where blood was drawn. What is your issue with Ser Blackwall?”

Cullen swallowed hard, “I… Can we speak after I clean up?” Rising from the floor he grabbed his mantle. “I…”

“I’ll have a healer brought up and will stay with you until he or she is finished. Then, we’re going to have a nice, long chat. Agreed?” Folding her arms tight across her chest she stared him down. “Agreed.” He gave a tight nod as she disappeared out the door. 

Sitting at his desk he opened the top drawer. There staring at him was the empty philter. Slamming the drawer shut he hung his head. It wasn’t ever going to be easy, he knew that much, but he wasn’t prepared for the mood swings or the sensations that flooded him. Diana knew he had stopped taking it, but he had hidden this private suffering. Maybe Cole was right. He needed to be honest with her and tell her when he needed her. Locking that thought into place, he waited for her and the healer to return.


	18. You Should Have Seen It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little bit darker than I usually write but nothing I would classify as trigger worthy. If it does, let me know and I'll update. Thank you!

A lone cart rode up to the gates of Skyhold, only a small wailing child inside. Diana was the first to reach the gate and when it crossed the opening she instantly reached in. Pinned to the side of the wagon was a letter, “Fire and Ash to cleanse Thedas!” She’d seen it before a Caer Oswin when they went in search of the Lord Seeker and the rest of Cassandra’s scattered order. The Order of Fiery Promise, what the Seekers and Red Templars believed they were, the answer to the mage issue and Thedas’s problems. Clutching the small child to herself she rocked and tried to soothe them. “It’s ok, you’re safe now.” She looked about to see Cullen frozen a few steps behind her. “Get Leliana, and Cassandra. I want this cart searched and wherever it came from discovered. I won’t let this persist!” As she rocked and watched, the child grew silent. Brushing back some of the dark hair back from the child’s face she noticed the youth had fallen asleep. “They’ve seen much. I…”

“Just like I was. So small and scared. Why wasn’t anyone there?” Cole’s voice echoed about her and she had to steel her guts. “Cole, this child needs a safe place to rest, food and water when they wake. Do you know someone who can help?” She remained as leveled headed as she could while Cole led her through the courtyard to the small hut behind the tavern. “Inside. She had a young one and lost it. Reds came and ruined everything. She misses having one and cannot have another. She will tend for the child.”

“Thank you, Cole.” Opening the door wide she stepped through. Meanwhile, in Cullen’s tower he was fuming. “I want to know what village that child came from and why we received no word. This will not go unpunished. Dismissed!” Slamming his fist into the table he paced back and forth as the room emptied. “Bullies. Never did like them. Always picking on someone smaller because they feel small.” Cole’s voice came from above and looking up Cullen could see his feet dangling over the edge. “Cole, how does Diana fare? Is the child cared for?”

“Yes. He will have a new mother. He’s young, I’ll help him forget and he can have a good life. She already loves him. So sweet and small, with little cherub cheeks she wishes to pinch.” There was a lightness to his voice and Cullen felt a bit of relief. “Diana is coming. She needs you now too.”

“Cullen are you busy?” Diana pushed through the door and Cole disappeared in a flash. “I… Cullen?”

“Sorry lost in some memories, nothing more.” He gave a weak smile and motioned her to have a seat. “Please, tell me. I need… I need to hear something other than the words in my own head right now.” Diana sat on the edge of his desk, barely an arms length from him. “I can do that. I was thinking of when I got my mother’s permission to join the Order. I had been, training, with the knights for some time. If one would call it training.” Chuckling he slid her a glass filled with water. “You should have seen it. I’m sure I looked the fool with my little wooden shield and knotted sword. But I kept up and must have shown some potential. They spoke to my father first. He was reluctant to agree. Until the day a local bully went and picked on the elderly woman a couple houses down from ours. I was on my way home from training when I saw him threaten her. His fist held high. She was on her knees tending to her garden and her husband was away. I don’t remember thinking anything other than she needed help. The boys name is lost to me, but I remember standing in front of her, my shield raised and sword at the ready. I told him to back off and leave her be. My sister, Mia, saw me charge in and rushed off to fetch mother or father. When they came back I had smashed the boy’s nose in with the hilt of my sword. Our elderly neighbour was quite relieved and spoke highly to my parents. That young man was dragged out by his own mother. I don’t remember seeing him cause trouble after that. But, with that small deed my mother agreed that I could be a templar.”

“That small child reminded you of that?” Diana finished her drink and set the cup down. “Yes. I wanted to help people. Save them I suppose, and I couldn’t be there to help that child. The Order did that to his village.” Hanging his head, he grumbled. “It seems I am constantly reminded about how little my oaths meant.”

Diana stood up and carefully eased herself into Cullen’s lap. “Your oath meant something to you. Don’t let these monsters get in your head. We’ll find them, and we’ll stop this madness.”

“That’s what they should have done too. How can you claim to be protecting people like this? I… I cannot wrap my mind around such things.”

“Because you are not evil Cullen,” Diana sighed, cupping his jaw in her palm. “The day we start understanding the why to evil is the day we become it. I pray to the Maker we always ask why.” Kissing his lips lightly she nestled her forehead to his. “I bet your mother and father would be proud of the man you’ve become. Smashing more noses in need.”

Chuckling heartily, he smiled. “I needed that.”

“Me too.” Diana grinned pressing one last kiss to his lips before allowing a moment of silence to hang over them. A weak blanket against the horrors yet to come.


	19. Oh Please, Like This is the Worst I Have Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short but to the point. Implied smutiness ending but no actually mentioned... if that makes sense?

Diana grinned wickedly as she intentionally missed her first attack. Giggling she easily dodged his counter. “You’re toying with me?!” Cullen growled as he jumped back, feeling the scrape of her practice blade pass his face. “Oh, come now Commander, its all-in good jest.” Stopping she flicked her head, tossing her braid back over her shoulder. “We could always lose the shields and continue with single handled sword play?” Tossing her buckler aside she tucked her shield arm behind her back and staggered her feet. “Either way, I’m going to win.”

“Cocksureness isn’t going to win the day, Inquisitor.” Cullen huffed and threw down his shield, taking a wider stance to offset her more finessed moves. “First to their back is still the goal, I don’t need a shield for that.” Cullen rolled his shoulders trying to relax his body. She had speed and flexibility where he had reach and strength. This was a game and he knew well enough she not only intended to win, she intended to dominate him. Something he wasn’t going to let happen. Not again, anyways. 

Countering her next flourish, he waited, biding his time as she poked and check him. It was on the third maneuver he noticed it. A slight limp. He wasn’t entirely sure if she was doing it intentionally or if it was a recent injury but there was a good internal sense that he needed to stop this game before she hurt herself. Paying close attention, he noted every third time she crossed her foot over her other foot, she staggered. Timing his next action accordingly he attacked.

Sure, enough his gut instinct lead him to his goal. Wrapping her blade up and out of the way it went sailing to the side. With a quick grab of her arm he had her flat on her back. As gently as he could manage. He even caught the glint in her eye and knew she was going to pull him down atop of her. Bracing himself he huffed, “that was reckless. You deceived me. You are injured.”

“Oh please, like this is the worst I have done.” She giggled locking her fingers together and placing her arms over her head. “You win. Love.” He was convinced there was no way in the Void that she could have done that any more seductively. With her bottom lip pinched between her teeth he had to remind himself of her limp and their location; the very public training ring. “I will give you that. Tell me, please.”

“Would you believe me if I said I stumbled out of bed this morning?” She tried her best to look genuine as she lay underneath him. His intoxicating heat building over her. With the breeze low and the weather mild it held his scent low and she could tell he was releasing pheromones and they were nearly impossible to resist. Driving her mad. “If you come to my quarters, you can look at it personally.” 

Cullen smirked, “now that’s a dirty tactic. But I won’t rest well knowing you are injured. Can you make it back to your quarters unattended?” He caught the moment her pupils darkened as he lifted up to kneel beside her. “Oh, I don’t think I can manage.” Diana sighed, overly exaggerating her situation. “It throbs terribly.”

“Now I know it isn’t you leg you wish my attention on.” Cullen’s smirk had grown to engulf his lips and he couldn’t help the same ache that was beginning to settle low in his belly. “I shall just have to carry you then.” With that he hoisted her up into his arms and with a smile wide across his face he carried her all the way to her bedroom. Where he remained till well after sundown.


	20. I Hope You Have a Speech Prepared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something fluffy, light and fun. I just celebrated a family member's birthday so that was the inspiration. Enjoy!

“Commander you need to come to the main hall, immediately!” A scout half squealed the words before rushing from his tower. Cullen had barely finished dressing and readying himself for the day. He originally expected a pile of new missives that were normally delivered every morning. Climbing down his ladder he shrugged, whatever it was it must have been important for the man to rush off after yelling in. Straightening his mantle over his pauldrons he tied his sash about his waist and marched across the battlements. 

When he got through the doorway into the rotunda he was stopped by Solas, “ah good morning Commander.” 

“Good morning Solas.” Cullen went to tip his head when the elf cleared his throat. “Is there something I can assist you with?” 

“I know you are a man who dislikes surprises and I wish to lend aid to your situation. Is it true today is your Namesake day?” Solas set the small cup upon its saucer and stood slowly coming about the desk to speak low to Cullen. “If it is, I hope you have a speech prepared.” Motioning towards the door he grinned. “It has taken her a good portion of the morning to clear the usual nobles from the hall, but your companions and the Inquisitor have seen fit to throw you a small party.”

“A small party?” Cullen frown deepened. “I told her that we don’t celebrate such things normally. They are quiet affairs, typically surrounded by family.” 

“I believe, Commander, you are family.” Solas’s lip curled up softly into a smirk. “I would suggest you proceed before she comes to fetch you personally.” Patting Cullen’s shoulder he returned to his seat. “Forgive my absence I have a pressing matter I must attend to. Happy Namesake day, Commander.” 

Pausing a few steps from the door his mind drew a blank. Solas’s words had sunk through him. “You are family.” With one long held deep breath he pushed through the door, not entirely sure what to expect. Before his foot could cross the threshold, he was bombarded with a roar of “Happy Namesake Day!” Looking about the room he caught sight of all of Diana’s companions, the other advisors, a few of his usual soldiers and scouts. “I…” Trying to speak his throat clenched tight. This was beyond anything he could have thought of and he silently prayed for something to alleviate his choked-up moment. 

“Come in, come on!” Diana raced forward to grab his hand and tug him into the center of the hall. “We don’t have long, but I wanted it to be special for you. Something you deserve.” As she led him into the hall she moved them to the table by the fire place, the usual haunt of Varric. As they got close, Bull moved to the side. Loaded upon the table were boxes, wrapped in colorfully painted papers. “For me?” His voice was barely a whisper. Last time he’d received a gift upon his Namesake day, he was but a small boy. It was a wooden shield and sword his father had crafted for him and done an impressive job of keeping quiet. “Of course! And there is one more surprise.” Diana’s smile was wide enough to nearly swallow her own ears as she let his hand drop and raced around the small pile. “I don’t often get the chance to bake, but I have been told it is a secret talent of mine.” Clearing her throat, she picked up a platter from behind the pile of gifts. “I couldn’t think of a more fitting thing than a cake. It’s sweet and rich and it makes everyone happy. Oh, and a little birdy mentioned you love Fereldan chocolate. Its… it’s a chocolate cake.” Her cheeks were a rosy red as Varric started laughing. “Hard to believe it but Princess here threw this all together at the crack of dawn. Even baked the cake in the dead of the night. She’s something special Curly.” 

“Oh, I am more than aware of that.” Cullen’s smile matched her own as he looked about the room. “You… I didn’t have time to prepare a speech.” He started chuckling. “There aren’t words enough for this. Thank you. All of you.”

“That will more than do.” Dorian sniffled, hiding the tear that slipped from his eye. “Come now it’s too early for wine but I must insist on sharing a bottle with you later. Perhaps over our usually game of chess?”

“I would enjoy that, thank you.” Cullen knew when to back off the young mage and he could tell Dorian was on the edge of making a scene. “Diana, everyone this was incredibly thoughtful, and I sincerely appreciate this. I hope you’ll share some cake and perhaps as Master Pavus mentioned, drinks later.”

“To you Cullen. Happy Namesake day.” They all uttered as Diana set the cake down and Cullen began to cut off slices for all.


	21. Impressive, Truly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some pre-Inquisition Cullen meeting Cassandra. Enjoy!

Cassandra stood nearby watching as the Knight-Commander paced up and down the line, giving out directions. “We have many dead still left to be removed from the rubble. Take the strongest of you and begin pulling away the larger of the Chantry pieces. The roads are too cluttered with rubble to get the wagons in to remove either properly. I expect a small group of you to focus on the roads. Clear away the rocks and debris to make it easier for the carts to come in. Those on the carts, you will be tasked with taking away a load of rubble before you collect the dead. Sister Julianna has come to give proper rights and help to identify them. If you find any personal effects, place them in a sack and tie it to the wrist of the owner. I will go about with Sister Ninette to inform family. Are there any questions?” Cullen eyed the group of men and women. “Yes?”

“Some of the civilians are concerned about looting. How will we ensure they can trust in us? Some of the dead are mages ser.” 

“You have sworn an oath. All of you have. To serve the Maker’s will. Would the Maker ask you to take from those grieving? Would he wish you to hurt those already suffering and in need of his light?” There was a strain in his voice. “I am putting my faith in you to aid these people. To honor your oath. Let me be clear. If there is a man or woman amongst you that would use this tragedy to line their pockets, they will face severe punishment. Lyrium rations are already stretched thin. Do not make it harder on yourself. Am I clear?” Cullen’s eyes gazed out over the crowd, no one broke eye contact with him. “Good, now to work!” 

Cassandra had heard the whole thing, from the shadows. A Seeker in town wouldn’t go unnoticed for long and she wanted to take advantage of the secrecy for as long as it was afforded to her. She’d received a letter from Leliana earlier in the day. Leliana had been in Kirkwall a few days before the city fell to madness. When Cassandra got word to come to Kirkwall she missed the explosion by three days. “Slip into Kirkwall, draw as little attention to yourself as you can. Watch the interim Knight-Commander. You’ll get all your questions answered through him. We shall see each other soon. Be safe. Maker preserve you. – Leliana.” 

“A Seeker!” Someone gasped behind her. Rolling her eyes, she darted to the next shadow, following the new interim Knight-Commander as he moved about. It wasn’t long before she caught up to the man. He’d shed his bulky armor and was wearing a dirty tunic, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Mud and dirt covered him as he helped unbury a body from the rubble. “Jenkins how are the carts fairing?”

“We can make it here, but no further. It is a mess ser. Between debris and bodies we are torn over what to handle first and the men are short.” 

“We need more people.” Cullen’s eyes darted out. “You there, can you gather as many able-bodied men as you can find? We need to clear the streets. Sooner the better.”

Cassandra grinned as the man snapped to and raced off hollering for people as he went. Soon men and women had gathered, “Knight-Captain Rylen.” Cullen bellowed. “I brought you some help. Can you get the road cleared?”

“Aye, that’ll do.” Rylen turned and began instructing people as the work picked up pace. “Don’t forget to drink. I won’t have people dropping from thirst.” Cullen grumbled as people about him tried to keep pace. 

“Impressive, truly.” Cassandra nodded to herself. “He is the one.” Making a mental note she headed to the low town Hanged Man. She’d need to send word to Leliana and make plans to meet this man. She knew without a doubt that he was what she needed, what Thedas needed if they were to put things back together again and for the Divine's plan to come to fruition.

Sitting in her corner she quickly penned a short missive to be sent off to Leliana. Tucking the parchment into her pouch she caught the dulcet voice of a man telling a tale of the Champion of Kirkwall. Rising from her seat she followed the voice till she reached the back area. Upon a throne looking chair sat a dwarf. “Excuse me, do you know much of the new Knight-Commander?” 

“Do I know Curly? Shit. Yes, I do. You looking for a story?” 

“Seeker Cassandra, and yes, I’d like to hear your story.” Leaning against the wall she listened as Varric told her a tale of the fall of Meredith, the rise of the new Knight-Commander and the disappearance of the famed Champion of Kirkwall. “You were there?”

“Of course. Many people were. Curly really picked a hell of a time to get his head out of his ass.” Varric laughed. “Is there anything more I can do for you Seeker?”

“I will let you know.” Nodding she quickly ushered back down the hall. It seemed she had two people to see in this shit-end town. Perhaps even find the trail of the missing Champion. Trotting down the steps she went straight to the door. By now the Knight-Commander would be back in the Circle barracks. That was the first step before she went back to speak with the dwarf.


	22. I Know How You Love to Play Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little Pre-Relationship/ Haven fighting between Cullen and Diana. If you are interested in more on their relationship check out my Penance Series. Enjoy!

“Commander,” Diana smiled brightly as she calmly strolled towards the training yard, just outside Haven’s gates. “I knew I would find you here.”

“What can I do for you, Lady Herald?” Rolling his eyes, he finished writing out a missive for Rylen. “I am quite busy.”

Diana prickled at the harshness of his voice. Since the day he found out her family lineage he seemed to have put up a huge steel wall between them. Crossing her arms tightly she tried to get through to him. “I was wondering if you had a moment to speak. We’re going to be working together for some time and I’d like to get to know you better.”

“Alright.” Cullen sighed, rubbing the space between his eyes he didn’t really want to speak to her. High born men and women were the bane of his existence. If not trying to take control of Kirkwall after the Chantry fell and the Templars, but they tried to constantly push about Ambassador Josephine. Having to deal with them since the beginning of his journey he wasn’t wanting to deal with one more. Let alone one that had been put in charge of running things. The Herald of Andraste, having to chose between him and three other squabbling women. Each time Diana opened her mouth in the war room she was arguing. And always against him. “What do you wish to know?” He braced himself for some smart remark on his lineage, perhaps a reference to the slur most used against Fereldans. Particularly low-born people.

“Seeker Cassandra said you are a Templar. I…”

“Were. I was a Templar. I am no longer.” Keeping his gaze fixed on her, he was set for verbal war. Whatever stab she was going to give he was prepared. “Was. Interesting. I know so little about the Order or Templars. We had them in Ostwick, but I wasn’t nearly as interested in them as I am you.” Dragging her tongue over her upper lip, she watched his reaction. The subtle flush of pink that edged the collar of his armor, the tinting of the tips of his ears and the sudden catch of his breath. It was the small things she was looking for and to get a rise out of him. “Lady Trevelyan,” he cleared his throat as he spoke. “I know how you love to play games. If you are quite through with them, I have training to oversee and several important letters to deal with.”

Chuckling brightly Diana sighed, “I simply wished to know you better. No games at all. Is that…”

“You argue with me mercilessly, belittle my advice and seek to toy with my mind. Were I a lesser man I might refer to you as some Desire demon. Perhaps these are the games the Lords and Ladies enjoy but I do not.” Glowering at her, he closed the distance and lowered his voice. “I will not be made the fool of for your childish entertainment. Do I make myself clean?”

Diana to her credit didn’t budge. “Commander, I apologize if you think I’m making a game of our time together. Perhaps next time I shall allow you to put me to the screws. Would that satisfy your lust for power and control? Pride demon.” Crossing her arms slowly she let her eyes roam over his features. “Such a pity. For one so young, you act so scorned. You misjudge me, and this is beneath both of us. Go stab a few training dummies, I shall speak with you later. Maybe you’ll be in a civil mood then. Good day.” Turning on her heel she flicked her hair back over her shoulder, slapping him in the face, before she calmly strolled away. Swaying her hips, a bit more than she needed to.

Cullen stood stuck between blinding rage and stunned shock. He wasn’t entirely sure what to make of her words or actions. Was this a simple game or was she genuine? It was very difficult for him to tell and at the moment he didn’t wish to try. Blinking several more times he finally turned back to his tent. A few moments, that’s what he needed to clear his head and work around her words. If there was one thing he knew about the Lady she was very particular in the choice of her words. What had she meant by any of it? “Pride demon,” he finally snorted before he walked out of his tent and back to the recruits. There was still work to do and daylight to do it by. Crossing his arms, he stood over the men and women as they ran through their drills. It gave him time to stew over her words, and hopefully get the all too appealing image of her rear in those all too tight leggings out of his mind as well.


	23. This is Not New, it Only Feels Like it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-Game fluff enjoy

How they first came together still felt like a mystery to Cullen. It had been a fight, his struggle with lyrium and her constant nattering at him. All of it had culminated in the most intense sex he’d ever experienced. In the afterglow she had gently curled into him, traced her fingers through the fine hairs upon his chest and easily fit against his side. He tried to remember when something like that had felt so good. Memories betrayed him, and emptiness was his answer. Admitting it to himself he’d wanted her from the moment he’d laid eyes on her. Even covered in dirt and fresh from battle. There was a strength about her, a pure radiance of command and dignity. Yet there was a feeling of grace and sensuality that seemed to follow behind. To say he was intoxicated upon eye contact would be nothing short of the truth. But they fought like cats and dogs back at Haven. She argued for the mages and he believed himself to be arguing for logic and reason, went with the templars.

There was a genuine fear when she slammed the Chantry door and went off to face Corypheus. He was afraid for her. Terrified that she was going out to bide time for them and die on that mountain side. When he found her half frozen to death just a few yards from the camp he felt his blood turn cold. “Cullen,” she’d weakly spoke his name, that insufferable grin she usually wore still upon her lips. “Hush save your energy.” He’d cooed to her as he tried to brush some of her blood matted hair from her face. “We have a camp not far up ahead. Hang on.”

“Carrying me? How… How wonderful…” She’d barely gotten the words out before she slipped into unconsciousness. But those words burned into his brain. What had she meant by them? Was it what he had hoped for? Could he be so bold as to hope for them, from the woman he seemed to delight in torturing him? Taking her to the healers, he’d paced back and forth till he wore the snow away to stone. Only when he was giving the sign she would be alright, could he begin to think straight. 

“What are you thinking of?” Diana sighed, her naked form pressed against his. “Just trying to figure out how I got here.” Cullen chuckled, carding his fingers through her scarlet hair. He reveled in how her heavy curls playfully bounced over his knuckles, and how soft they were. “Well I believe you walked up the steps, disrobed as I asked and climbed into bed.” Diana chuckled pressing another kiss to the scar over his lip. “I didn’t think it was that good to have lost your mind over.” 

“Seriously Diana.” He sighed before kissing her back. “This is not new, it only feels like it. I suppose.” 

“Getting sentimental on me.” Diana sat up and the blanket slipped from her shoulder to pool about her waist. “Do you miss life without me?” 

“Don’t ever think of that,” Cullen wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into his lap, sealing his lips over hers in nearly a bruising kiss. He only released her when they were both gasping for air. “I would die without you.” Cupping her jaw in his palm he let out a long sigh. “We’ve been through so much. Come so far. I couldn’t imagine anyone else in my life, nor would I want them.”

“Oh Cullen,” Diana’s heart melted as she leaned in to offer a tender, brief peck of his lips. “The hour is late my love. If you are to tend to the clinic in the morning, we should get some rest.”

“You are right, as always.” Helping her ease back down he curled up behind her, resting his hand against her swelling belly. “Do not work too hard, please. If you need…”

“Cullen, you worry too much. Women have been giving birth in fields for centuries. We’ll be just fine. I happen to know a few very good mages.” Chuckling she laced her fingers in hers and settled against him. “Please, you worry too much.” 

“We’ve seen too much,” Cullen’s voice was somber, before her pressed one final kiss to her temple. “I love you. Now sleep.”


	24. You Know this, you know this to be True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Talk of infertility. So it might be sensitive to some views, reader discretion is advised. *Short read*

“I don’t understand.” Diana was crying, heavy tears as she sat on the edge of the healer’s bed. “I, I take good care of myself. Well the best I can being the Inquisitor. This makes no sense.”

“You know this, you know this to be true.” The gaunt faced woman shrugged as she cleansed her hands in the water. “Its your fault and there is nothing that can be done about it. You will have to tear his heart out with the truth before I am forced to do so myself.” 

“No!” Diana screamed, sitting up in bed. It was a nightmare. A new one. Cullen had been speaking about children recently and the possibility of having one or two once the war was over. This was the second night in a row she’d had the same type of dream. She’d go to the healer just to make sure everything was well and that things would proceed naturally. Every time she got told she was a barren failure who would be forced to tell Cullen the news and shatter his heart. 

Children. He hadn’t given it much thought his whole life but now at the age of thirty-two he was beginning to look at the children playing in the courtyard differently. She’d brought it up, casually at first when she noticed him staring. “I see you enjoy watching the little ones. It’s a shame the war has torn them from family.” 

“Ours will face no such thing, if I am to have a say.” He uttered the words so smoothly, without a second thought before he pressed a kiss to her hand. “Back to work, there is much to do yet.” With his usual calmness and even temper he went back to his training and papers. Leaving her to sort through the subtle message and the mess in her mind. His words stuck in her brain and no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t knock them free. Every attempt to speak with him on the matter became moot. There was always pressing business with the Inquisition and he was all too consumed in ‘setting things right,’ before they had this chat. 

“My dear, are you alright?” Cullen rose to a sit beside her and wrapped his arms around her. “You don’t normally have nightmares.”

“I’m fine.” Diana sighed as she relaxed into him and curled up in bed. “Just hold me, alright?” Shivering she blanketed herself in his arms, thankful for the heat he provided. It was something she’d hidden, from everyone. Her deepest-seated fear. “Spiders,” she’d told him. “I have an ornate fear of spiders.” That was the furthest thing from the truth. Spiders were eerie creatures that possibly carried pathogens but overall, they didn’t bother her. Infertility scared her. Even though she hadn’t decided what she wanted to do, she knew enough that if it was a pressing issue that it was beyond her control. “Trust in the Maker child.” Her mother had said. But the Maker moved in mysterious ways, and that never brought her any peace of mind.

“Diana, if you want to…”

“No, I’m fine. Please, try to go back to sleep.” Lacing her fingers in his, she tried to focus on the constant pulse of his heart. Feeling each thump through her fingers. Timing her breaths, she soon found herself back to sleep. Afterall it was foolish to think of such things when Corypheus was still out there somewhere and at any second Theda itself could fall. Selfish. Foolish. Chastising herself she buried the thought. Sleep, that’s what she needed and perhaps the Maker would handle this when the time came.


	25. Go Forward, Do not Stray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small warning for blood and combat related violence.

Ripping her sword from the slumping body of a possessed Grey Warden, Diana paused only a moment to scan over the battlefield. All about her, their hard-earned allies and Inquisition soldiers alike fought. Cutting down the last of the brain washed Grey Wardens and Red Templars, barring them from the path. They’d been fighting for what felt like hours as they followed the blood strewn brushes and trails towards the Temple of Mythal. Along the way she did her best to aid where she could. Stopping to help thin the numbers against them. Red templars with their new lyrium had nearly unbreakable stamina and monster like strength. Many men and women were cut down facing them. But there was a trick she’d picked up in her constant battles. They were easy to anger and quicker to lose themselves in the heat of the fight. Forcing them to it made the effort easier. As the last body dropped before her, she knew they would win the day. Now they were close, close enough she could see the Temple through the flora and fauna. 

Walking into a large clearing she wondered what it could have been at one time, Diana wished they could stop. Just to look around and preserve the history. Broken statues and bit of intricately carved ruins lay in varying degrees of decay. Bits of long-lost history to the Dalish sat waiting to be discovered. If nothing else she would make sure the Dalish knew of this place and had access to it. Orlais be damn! Wading through the nearly knee-deep water she caught the familiar grunt off in the distance. “Cullen…” She instantly pushed forward, rushing to get to him. 

At base camp she’d caught the hushed whispers, “the Commander has been out on the field for two days. Barely resting long enough to eat and drink before returning to battle. I think the man has slept no more than a few hours before he rose and rushed to stand with his men. Truly, an impressive feat.” 

Running through an overgrown archway her eyes went wide. Standing upon a small hill in the water was Cullen. He was covered in ichor but even from a distance, Diana could see it wasn’t his. At his feet lay several bodies, red templars, Venatori and Grey Wardens. “Maker…” Diana sighed out as he ran a cloaked Venatori mage through from behind before kicking his body off the end of his blade. Seeing more men coming she joined the fray. Trading blows back and forth she was glad for the sudden silence. Giving a quick look about she was sure they had a moment to breath. When the area was clear to his liking, Cullen shot her a look, “go forward, do not stray.”

“I love you too,” she smirked as he leveled a knowing eye at her. “Be careful.”

“You as well, Inquisitor.” Tipping his head, he motioned to the few remaining soldiers, “take a moment to catch your breath, if you have restoratives, use them. They will be back soon, and we need to keep them off the Inquisitor and her people.”

“Watch the blood,” Iron Bull bellowed, “its tainted with red lyrium. Be sure to check your wounds. Don’t use the water upon the ground.” Tipping his head to Cullen he rushed to catch up with the rest of the group. 

Diana paused one moment longer before ducking through the brushes and out towards the Temple. He was magnificent, but tired and he needed a break. Something only, she could provide if they moved quick enough and captured the eluvian before Corypheus. Otherwise Cullen would be doing much more fighting and she wasn’t confident that he was strong enough to handle a flood of soldiers. Pushing forward she did not stray as she encountered Corypheus at the bridge. And when the glow erupted, and the elves ran, she went forward.


	26. But if you cannot see it, is it really there?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T- for kissing and implied hooking up later.

Cullen spoke the chanticle like he always did when he found times hard, knelt before the statue of Andraste. But this time the words felt hollow, and the answer equally so. Remaining still he tried to let it go. Many things had shaken his faith in the years of service. Why did he survive Kinloch, when all he knew died? Why did he not see through Meredith sooner, when the signs were right under his nose? How could he not have stood by the Champion sooner? When did watching over mages turn to something so wrong? Why couldn’t he remember why he took that oath so long ago? He’d walked away from explosion after explosion, both literal and emotional. Kinloch, Kirkwall, Haven, and now he was set to head into battle at Adamant. 

“Are you well, Commander?” Diana’s voice shimmered off the stone walls and seemed to bathe him. “I am… Lost.” He paused before standing to greet her. “I came for answers, but it seems I am to be granted none.” 

“You have lost your faith.” Diana frowned as she walked towards him, resting at his side as she gazed up at the cold alabaster statue. “I wonder sometimes.” She said as she reached for his hand, lacing her fingers in his. “But if you cannot see it, is it really there?”

“You doubt the Maker?” Cullen quirked his brow up at her, waiting for some explanation. “Sometimes. Have you ever heard the Dalish tales? How the Dread Wolf locked away the Gods and left the Dalish without them. Locked them away for all time. Then there is the Avvar, their love of spirits and their many Gods too. I found a tome about the Forgotten Ones out in the Fallow Mire. I cannot say with pure honesty what to believe. I cannot see the Maker and to attribute my hard efforts as his ultimate plans seems hollow in the doing.” Shrugging her shoulders, she chuckled. “But I suppose there are no doubters on the battlefield.” 

“No, there aren’t. Perhaps that is the nature of war and battle. We all wish for some divine hand to guarantee that no matter what we will come home.” Cullen smirked. “Maybe that was the answer I was looking for. I just needed the Herald to tell me.” Looping his arms around her waist he grinned. “It may be blasphemous to ask this, here, now, but may I kiss you?”

“Why Commander, in front of the Lady?” Biting her bottom lip, she looped her hands into the thick fur of his mantle and tugged him forward. “How could I say no?” Not giving him a second chance to reconsider she pressed her lips against his before she cupped the back of his neck in her hand. Slanting her mouth against his she slid her tongue over his bottom lip. 

“Commander I have a message from Sister Leliana.” Diana instantly recognized the voice of Cullen’s usual Scout; Jim. Breaking the kiss, she smirked when he whined. “Meet me on the battlements?” He half pleaded. “Why so you can leave me aching? Meet me in my quarters, after sundown.” Running her thumb down his kiss swollen lips she grinned. “I’ll be wearing your favorite.”

“I won’t keep you waiting long. I promise.” Cullen sighed before squaring his shoulders and turning to see Jim still with his head down, sorting through several pieces of paper. ‘Bless his ignorance,’ Cullen mused as he stormed forward. “I shall take those, but as I have said Jim when I am not in my office place them upon my desk.”


	27. Remember, you have to remember.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Went back to Origins on this one and my Aurora Cousland. She becomes Queen with Alistair but before that is the Dark Ritual. We get a bit of insight into that relationship and how she convinced Alistair to bed Morrigan. He was most pleased. ;)

Warden Aurora Cousland scratched her head, before toying with a strand of coiled ebony hair. “You’re telling me to save our lives all you need is to have Alistair… sleep with you?” 

“I did think I was most forth coming. What part did you need further explanation on? I could resort to smaller words if needed.” Morrigan wore a grin fit for a cat as she leaned against the cold stone walls of the Arl’s manor home. “I need him to implant a child within my womb. That child will carry within it the taint. One in which the Old God will seek out. Because of the babe’s youth the Old God’s spirit will not consume it but instead be housed inside the child. Thus, saving the Grey Warden who lands the killing blow from instant death.”

Aurora thought on it long and hard, “I will… I will try to convince him, but it is by his will.”

“Understandable. I await the answer outside his chambers. I promise it will not be unpleasant.” Morrigan smirked before strolling off into the darkened halls. Aurora turned her attention to her own chambers, knowing full well Alistair was set to meet her there. 

“Darling, what took you so long?” Alistair gave her his usual bedroom eyes and warm smile, something she longed for after the lengthy day and landsmeet. “Alistair, I have something we need to discuss.” Sitting at the end of the bed on the lounge couch she sighed. Suddenly the weight of her armor bore down on her and the decision she carried even more so. “You trust me, don’t you?”

“Of course, I do. What kind of silly statement is that? Usually the kind uttered right before some outrageous request… Wait… Rory?” Alistair reached for her hand and in an instant, she had retracted it. “Alistair, I need you to do something. I… I can’t live without you and…”

“You’re worrying me Rory.” Alistair wrapped her in his arms, their armor the least of the barriers between them. “You heard what Riordan said. Whomever lands the killing blow will take on the spirit of the Old God and die. Otherwise it will jump to another blighted creature and live. We are the only ones who can stop this.” Tears began to form in her eyes as she stared into the hearth, focusing on the orange and red flames as they licked at the new log. “I can’t lose you Alistair and no matter what he says he cannot guarantee he will be the one.” 

Deathly silence filled the air between them. Alistair unsure of what he could say to make this all better and Aurora holding tight to Morrigan’s dark ritual. Their only hope of survival against the Archdemon. “Alistair. I was serious before; do you trust me?” 

“My love I would walk through the deepest darkest road if you said it would save us.” Alistair’s fingers laced into hers and he felt her begin to relax. “Tell me what you would have me do.” 

“Morrigan.” Aurora let out a weak chuckle. “I’d have you do Morrigan.”

“You’re joking?” Alistair barked out before he caught the gleam in her auburn eyes. “You are serious. But… I don’t understand.” 

“She can preform a ritual where you will give her a child and no matter which one of us strikes down the Archdemon, no one will die. She… I believe her and at this point I would do it myself if I could.” Aurora’s voice failed her as she leaned into Alistair. “Just remember, you have to remember that it’s for the future. Our future.” She squeezed his hand one more time before she stood up. “She’s waiting for you, outside of your room. Please… the sooner this is done the better I will sleep. I… I will wait for you.”

“Alright. If this is what you wish. I can guarantee you, I won’t enjoy this.” Alistair started to strip down his armor, setting it upon the stand in the corner. “Don’t stay up. You don’t have to. I… I’m sorry…” He hung his head and instantly Aurora was next to him, “don’t be. This is a small price to pay for our future.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek before seeing him to the door. 

Alistair navigated the old halls easily, and sure enough Morrigan was leaned against this bedroom door, “have you decided?”

“Yes.” Alistair grimaced. “I will… do it.” 

“I promise you will not find this unpleasant.” Morrigan grinned as she pushed open his door. “Disrobe and lay upon the bed. I shall do the rest.” 

“Alright.” Alistair wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with this situation. Aurora had been his first, and while they had been intimate many times since he wasn’t even sure if he could with Morrigan. Folding his clothes neatly, he awkwardly lay upon the bed, flat upon his back. Fumbling with what to do with his hands. Morrigan, in full buff sauntered over to him and began to climb the bed. The only light illuminating them was the candle by his bed post. Swallowing hard he half expecting her to club him over the head or cast some spell on him. Instead she blew out the candle, mercifully blanketing them in darkness. 

Before his eyes could adjust he felt her breath along the inside of his thigh, “remember, you have to remember.” He chanted in his head before her wet lips touched him. After that, everything melted into a strange euphoria and the next thing he was cognitive of, was laying next to Aurora.


	28. I felt it. You know what I mean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little lightness mixed with a sultry undertone. But that has always been Diana and Cullen. Enjoy a little post-Winter Place/ Dance scene chat.

“This dance is perfect Cullen, but I cannot get my mind off the events of the evening. Speak sweetly to me, won’t you?” Diana sighed, snuggling her head into the crock of his neck, enjoying the soft sway of their bodies to the muffled tunes. Cullen in turn chuckled, “and what would you have me say? I am not as good as you would think about waxing poetic on the spot.” 

“Anything. I want to hear your voice and feel it move through me. I need to. This business with the Orlesians and Briala and Florianne has me feeling terrible.” She whined as she lazily looped her fingers behind his neck and lifted her head to meet his eyes. “You are my grounding rock in these moments. Even if you don’t know it.”

“Then let me tell you of how proud I am of you. How much you have inspired me and kept me pushing forward, even on the days where I want to give in. On the hard days when the song is strong, and I don’t think I can do it anymore.” Cullen brushed some of her hair back from her shoulder. It had fallen clean from her elaborate updo in her fight with the Duchess. “You are so incredibly strong and…”

“I’m not that strong Cullen. I just know how to wear a very thick mask.” Her face fell, and Cullen caught the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. With a tenderness the Commander was never known for, he brushed his thumb against her cheek. “You don’t have to wear it around me.” 

Diana barely contained herself as Cullen’s lips pressed feather light against hers. It was enough and always exactly what she needed, when she needed it. “Thank you,” she smiled as he pulled away just enough to rest his forehead against hers for a moment’s breath. “I believe you more than anyone who’s ever spoken a kind word to me.” 

“There is a passion about you. Honesty and truthfulness. I admit, I noticed it when we first met.” Cullen blushed softly about his cheeks before he quickly cleared his throat. “I felt it. You know what I mean.”

“I felt it too. Even though it was but a brief moment on the battle field I felt a kindred soul within you. It called to me. Yet, you were such an ass.” Laughing Diana lifted back from Cullen. “You thought me some aristocratic brat ready to step on all of your little farm boy dreams.” Flicking the tip of his nose softly she chuckled. “And I had thought you hated me for my title. If I had known you were too concerned with mixing your business with your pleasure,” she leaned in again, pressing herself tight to his frame. “I would have pushed you harder, sooner.”

“Diana, we are in public.” There was a mischievous grin upon his lips, and Diana could feel the change rush through his body. “In Orlais no less.”

“The scandal will be more than worth it.” Diana licked her lips before grabbing a hand full of his hair. “Stop me, or don’t. I’d prefer you don’t.”

“I….”

“Inquisitor!” Josephine’s voice filtered through to the balcony. “Find me tonight. I am not through with you. Temptress.” Cullen quickly took control, forcibly melding his lips against hers, twisting his tongue about her mouth before releasing her. A thick, wicked smirk upon his face. “Find me. Before I hunt for you.”

“Mmm,” Diana sighed, as he slipped through the doors only to be replaced by the panting Ambassador. “There you are! I have been searching for ages.”

“Not long enough.” Diana huffed under her breath before the heavy mask of the Inquisitor slipped over her visage.


	29. At Least it Can't Get Any Worse

Hissing at the pain Diana gave a faint wincing smile as Dorian finished stitching up the wound upon her arm. “I’m sorry, my dear, I’m drained, or I would have at least been able to dull it.” His face was ghastly pale, and his well manicured moustache was partially singed on one side. Bull helped lift Dorian up, “he needs rest, Blackwall can manage. We’re away from any danger and a message has already been sent.”

“Thank you, Bull.” Diana struggled to sit up, only to give into the need to lay there. It had been a pitched battle against the Venatori outside a strange temple in the Western Approach. For every single foot of forward momentum, they walked, they had to fight tooth and nail to keep it. Mostly Venatori mages, a few assassins and a couple random darkspawn. Each had taken a beating, but Diana was the one needing stitches. A long gash covered a good three-inch strip of her shoulder. Narrowly missing her main artery and anything important. 

Feeling her eyes grow heavy, she struggled to stay awake. They had made camp just outside, tucked around the corner and out of view. Using the old Venatori colours and items Blackwall figured at the least they’d blend in. Worse case they would only get one night out of it. More than enough time to heal up and gear up for the battle to come. Inside the strange temple life stood still. Both demon and Tevinter, unmoving for Maker knew how long. What documents they found stunned Dorian deeply. They had to have been centuries old, and yet they looked as if they hadn’t aged a single day. 

“You alright,” Blackwall poked his head over her. “You lost a bit of blood back there. Can you sit? You need to eat.” 

“Thank you, father,” Diana laughed weakly. “I am afraid with my arm I cannot lift myself. Would you kindly help?”

“Of course, my lady.” Blackwall quickly dropped to his knees and scooped her up, rising her to a comfortable sit. “I have some stew bubbling away. It’s hot but ready to eat.”

“Please.” Diana’s stomach growled loudly at the thought. She’d had a quick breakfast with them before they marched onwards, tracking a strange man in robes. Only to stumble upon this location. Since then she’d managed only to eat the small bit of jerky and dried bread from her pouch. Blackwall quickly rushed to the fire, ladled a heaping mound into her bowl and rushed back to her side. “I hope you aren’t averse to eating Fennec. They’re plentiful out here and if cooked right aren’t half bad.” 

“Food is food and you’ve always been a decent cook. I’m sure it’s perfect.” Taking the bowl and settling it in her lap she piled a spoon full before blowing a few times and taking a bite. It was warm and satisfying in all the right ways. “Wonderful as always.” Closing her eyes, she sighed. “Today was a mess, wasn’t it?”

“It could have gone better, but that’s what happens when you walk into the unknown.” Blackwall settled in beside her with his own bowl in hand. “At least it can’t get any worse. Today anyways.” Blackwall chuckled before digging into his own meal. “Dorian will be right as rain come the morning and then he can work on a bit of healing and we’ll knock this place down. Just like we always do. You should rest too. I’ll take the first watch. Bull’s offered to take the second.”

“If that’s what you wish.” Diana really couldn’t really argue; her shield arm was dead and stitched. She’d need Dorian to push some magic through it if she was going to do anything anytime soon. “Eat. We can worry about everything else once our bellies are full.”

“Spoken like a proper leader.” Blackwall chuckled before he nodded and dug back into his bowl.


	30. Do We Really Have to do This Again?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little choice that frustrates the Commander. Pre-relationship Cullen x Diana.

Cullen roared over the training yard, still stewing in his own rage. It had been another round session of screaming. Between him, Josephine, Cassandra and Leliana. They were arguing for the millionth time over how to best handle the Breach. Something he felt rather strongly on. He’d argued that the Templars would be better suited to their needs and he was concerned about the lack of information coming from the Order. “The Lord Seeker has lost his mind,” Leliana sighed, rubbing at her temples. “We are better off worrying about the threat upon our doorstep.” 

“The Magister.” Cassandra sighed. “It is a…”

“Political nightmare.” Josephine added as she scribbled on her board. “In the eyes of Ferelden, we are an Orlesian order. Marching in soldiers to a Fereldan Arl’s lands will surely incite the King. Redcliffe is owned by Bann Teagan. He is the Uncle to the King and I doubt that will make this any easier.” 

“Then we abandon this reckless pursuit and go after the templars.” Cullen slammed his hand against the edge of the table. “They must see reason.” 

“Herald,” Cassandra let out a puff before continuing. “What do you believe is best. We are unable to come to a conclusion.” 

Diana tapped her bottom lip, looking over the splayed map of Thedas. “No word has returned from the templar’s keep you claim?”

“Not a single word, and you met the man with me in Val Royeux. It didn’t seem he was eager then and it appears that hasn’t changed.” Cassandra scratched at her head, her eyes locked on Cullen who was eagerly awaiting Diana’s decision. “And this Tevinter Magister, is there no other way to remove him? Alert the King perhaps?”

“I have sent word to the King. He has sent nothing in return. But King Alistair is well known for his distaste in formalities. He may be gathering resources to secure it himself. We cannot be sure.” Josephine let out a long-winded sigh. “Leliana, you traveled to Redcliffe before, with the Hero of Fereldan. Tell me, what do you think? Strategy wise.” Diana said, turning to gaze towards the woman.

“We could get you inside, perhaps with a small party but nothing large scale. The Commander was not very happy with the conditions.” Leliana bit her bottom lip glancing over at Cullen who seemed to be near vibrating with a smoldering rage. “He doesn’t…”

“It’s too dangerous!” He half bellowed, his arms crossed tightly against his chest. “We could lose….”

“Do we really have to do this again?” Diana’s shoulders slumped forward. “I can take care of myself. Mage or no.” Shifting her weight to her other side she smiled and nodded. “We go to the mages. I’ll meet this Alexius and….”

“Not without me you don’t.” Dorian came barging in, a scout barely able to cut in front of him to tell the Commander who the man was. “Yes, titles, lovely. I know Alexius and his nasty little tricks. I can remove his magical traps and get us in without him knowing. You’ll be safe in my arms.” Dorian grinned wide as he saddled up beside Diana. “Let’s be solid on a plan. I hate to be caught with my trousers down.”

“Wonderful.” Cullen groaned out loud. Even with all the recruits and work before him, he couldn’t get that thought out of his head. ‘She could die,’ and right then and there, he didn’t want to admit that it bothered him on more than a strategic level. “Maker’s breath… Again Lancet, you dropped your right shoulder.” It was all too much to think that she was more than a means to an end. Drawing in a deep breath of icy air he tried to watch over his charges and prepare them for what was to come.


	31. I've Waited so Long for This

Diana pressed the edges of the thick shearling blanket over the stone. She’d already added two thick logs to the hearth and with the cushy padding laid upon the ground she was ready for their evening. It’d been a long day. The letter arrived early in the morning, from Val Royeux, bearing the seal of the new Divine. “This… we all knew this was coming.” Leliana sighed, the last two years having been kind to her delicate features. “We have time, but we cannot ignore this. How do you wish to address this, Inquisitor?” 

“May I suggest a more diplomatic answer? We will have time to lay out our case before the council and it will be better to give them less to focus on.” Josephine grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I can word it as a polite acknowledgment, limit the words so they have less to pick at.”

“Then do so. This whole affair is a blatant power grab.” Cullen scowled, the line between his eyes having deepened since the fall of Corypheus. “Its an insult to everything we’ve done. Everything we’ve fought for; our people have died for.” Slamming his hand onto the map table he growled. “Damned politics! Ungrateful…”

“I understand your pain, Commander.” Diana broke his rage. “We have lost many. Perhaps it would be wise to send a message with your reply. Attach a copy of every member of the Inquisition lost during these last three years. Those who perished in the battles to stop Corypheus and those who died maintaining the peace and dealing with the last of the rifts. Be sure to address it to the Divine herself. I think Cassandra will be most annoyed and she’ll know how best to leverage it in our favour. She’s held the hounds off this long, she’ll need all the help she can get.” 

Everyone easily agreed and with that the last of their business they went to their daily work. By dinner Diana was pleading with time to hurry. Pouring two goblets of wine she settled against a thick, overstuffed cushion. Cullen would be up any minute now and she’d set the mood in preparation. A few candles flickered on her desk, the hearth the only other source of light. In the center of the blanket, lay a tray of meats, cheeses, breads, fruit and chocolates. They were going to enjoy a quiet evening, one they rarely had up until recently. “You went all out.” Cullen smiled brightly as he crested the staircase. “Then come and sit. Take off your boots.” Diana grinned, holding his wine glass.

Cuddling into her, he took the glass and settled in. “I apologize for my anger today.” Taking a small sip, he eased into her, curling himself as comfortably as he could, splayed upon the lush blanket and plump pillows. “We’ve all been under so much stress as of late. I shouldn’t have added to yours.” 

“Cullen.” Diana smiled before she kissed his cheek and helped guide his head down into her lap. Carding her fingers through his hair she fed him a cube of cheese before chuckling. “I’ve waited so long for this.” Finishing chewing, he shook his head, “to feed me cheese?”

“No silly.” Squishing his cheeks, she laughed. “Quiet. Blissful peace with just the two of us. Here now. Only the sound of the fire and having you laid upon my lap.” 

“I could get used to this.” Cullen reached up and ran his bare thumb over her lips. “Tonight, no more talk of work. Promise.” Brushing his hand over her cheek he pulled her down, lifting himself up as best he could to capture her lips. It was over far quicker than either wanted, “we have all night,” Cullen sighed as he eased his head back into her lap. “But first, let’s just enjoy this moment.”

“We have all night.” Diana echoed his breathy reply as she returned to combing her fingers through his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first, write everyday kind of event and I really enjoyed it. It allowed me to stretch my mind a bit and sometimes it left me frustrated. I'm proud of what I put out, only slightly mad that I didn't meet a personal goal of 1000 words minimum each post. Ah well, first time playing the game. I hope you all enjoyed and if you want to follow me on tumblr, click here [ Kiera Rutherford ](https://kierarutherford.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr here: [Kiera Rutherford](https://kierarutherford.tumblr.com/)


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